2012 January « Gemini Girl

Archive for January, 2012

My Fashion Diary

January 10, 2012 at 9:25 am · Filed under Fashion Diary

Harem Pants, Black Button down, Tall Boots, Beaded Necklace

Zara mini shift dress, Black f21 blazer, Electris blue tights, Ankle boots, Sequined necklace Aldo

Heart Tunic with Gap sweater vest, jeggings/ Gap tshirt, H&M skirt

Old Navy Cardigan, Long dress shirt H&M, Black leggings, Tall chocolate boots, Beaded necklace, f21 ring

Dress: Primark UK

h&m jeggings, boots, tunic h&m, brown cardigan, bird cage necklace Claire's

Zara Athletic Navy Pants, F21 Print shirt & yellow cardigan, necklace h&m, headband f21

Rocking my old Motherhood cable knit sweater, Benneton jean skirt, tall boots

F21 Print tunic, grey sweater vest h&m, leggings, boots

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Silently Screaming

January 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

I mentioned that I want to start using this platform as a place to vent.

As my diary, the way it once was.

So here goes.

There are days that I am off.

That even the best meds in the world can’t make me smile inside.

Because I ALWAYS smile on the outside.

ALWAYS.

People think I am so chipper.

Nobody can be this chipper all the fucking time.

*****

I’m in a hard place financially right now.

Well, I have been for a few years now.

With a husband in school, and only one income- you get stretched to the MAX.

I feel like I am constantly on a treadmill- walking… running in place- but going nowhere.

All I want to do is scream- I mean how the fuck long will this have to go on???

My husband is an amazing person.

A wonderful dad.

Sometimes though, I don’t like him.

I love him, but I don’t like him. I feel like I am always being picked apart. At home, at work… within myself. I take care of EVERYONE, without anyone taking care of me.

I wish I could take a break from marriage and just be with myself and with my thoughts for a while.

Doesnt everyone feel that way?

Often I wonder if I made a mistake marrying him. He’s a wonderful person, but we don’t mesh a lot of the time. We’re so different. It’s hard. That’s what happens when you marry at 24 after being with the same person since the age of 20. You make a decision that is too big for you. I mean, I’m not saying that I regret it. I love my girls. I love him as well. But I still wonder. I Wonder if people shouldnt be allowed to marry so young.

***

I have been feeling so run down lately. Sleeping so much. I fall asleep at 9pm, and on weekends at 7pm. I know that a sign of depression and what not, but I’ve been taking anti depressant for a year now.

Does it mean they stop working? I need them to work.

I can’t keep this smile painted on without them.

A clown without his makeup, is just a sad soul.

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So, What’s YOUR Number?

January 4, 2012 at 8:43 am · Filed under Curvy Girl Guide, Me ·Tagged curvy girl, new years resolutions

Curvy Girl Guide is launching a new initiative for the New Year: Take Back Your Number! We all make New Years Resolutions that we don’t usually keep, so why not make one you actually can?

I am lucky to be a part of this campaign, and when I was asked for my number.. it took me a while to come up with one. Yes of course, I want to lose 15 lbs or go to the gym 3x a week. I want to travel to a new country this year or climb the Alps (well, actually, I don’t want to climb the Alps it’s hard yo).

As I began to think about it, the first person that popped into my mind was my husband.

This man is a Full time student who gets our girls ready in the morning and makes their breakfasts (because mommy has already left for work). This is a man who is there to pick up his girls from school. A man who showers them, feeds them and then packs them all into a car an hour later to pick me up from the train station.

We need to spend more time together.

As a couple.

When you’ve been with someone for 10 years, you fall into a routine.

It’s normal and natural.

So this year, my number is 12.

I resolve to have a date night with my husband once a month.

Our date nights don’t actually have to consist of the going out to dinner kind. After all, he is a student and money is tight. So a date night can consist of opening up a bottle of wine and watching a movie on our TV while the girls snore away.

It’s important to us as a couple, it’s important to my husband and it’s important to me.

To read more about the CGG “Take Back Your Number” Initiative, click on this link.

So……What’s Your number???

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