Archive for June, 2011

Style

June 27, 2011 at 3:07 am · Filed under From my mind's eye, From the heart

I was reading my dear friend Eden’s blog just now and she wrote a post about personal style. It was part of a Australian blogger topic guide so I decided to steal it because, well.. I’m not australian.

What is my personal style?

Inside and Out?

Hmm.

I love clothes but I don’t spend a lot of money on one piece.

It took me many years to come into my own fashion wise.

I wore only black until I was 23- which made people think  was goth, when really I just thought it was slimming.

I don’t cook every night, but I cook once or twice a week and I put my heart into it.

Most days my kids eat cereal for dinner, and I’m OK with that.

One thing you can’t say about my girls is that they look dishevelled. I make it a point for them to always be clean and not dirty.

I do well and hold my own in the company of men as well as women.

I am VERY self deprecating. I know that if I wasnt, I would be crying about every single hair that I have on my back.

I think that most people either like me or don’t.

I’m definitely funny.

The people who I can’t make laugh, are people who I don’t want to hang out with. ever.

I have a post babies belly that just will not go away. I hide it under baggy shirts and hope to not draw attention to it.

Also- my upper arms are pretty fat so you will never see me in a tank top. like ever. my mom once said that wearing sleeveless made me  look like a boxer when I was 12… so that’s where it began I suppose.

I am an accessories whore.

I don’t like 95% of the gifts people give me.

I am VERY PICKY.

My boobs are huge and are the cause to my shoulder and neck pains… so I am looking into a reduction.

I don’t care if my husband loves them, I have to do it for me.

Plus, I never fancied boobs that you can throw over your shoulders. My boobs, even at 16, were down to my ankles- meanwhile, my mom’s 56-year-old boobs are higher up than mine!!!

Fruit does not belong in a salad.

I can’t eat chicken with the bones it, it makes me feel like a cannibal.

I’m not good with money. I never was. I hope to one day be.

I had a gap between my upper front teeth all of my life. I hated it. Loathed it. Even after I had braces on, and the gap went from huge to tiny, I still hated it. I bonded my teeth before the girls were born. No more gap. My husband said he loved my gap and that I lost “my magic”. I actually like it better this way. But I find it strange that my girls- especially Neve- who has my gap.. wont know that her mommy had one too.. and will think that a gap isnt beautiful (even when it is)! I love her gap so so much.

Channeling Elton John

Often I wonder if removing the gap from my teeth, and lasering off my body hair, straightening my curly hair- not make me authentically me?

If you ever came to my house for dinner, you would think I was  Martha Stewart… house tip-top clean, beautiful and tasty food, nice smelling kids… but it’s only like that for company.

I have never been invited to be a bridesmaid and that kind of makes me sad.

I don’t like wearing shirts that show my cleavage…I’m kind of an old maid when it comes to that…

I do love showing off my legs though…

sometimes I shave my legs before i got to work and while on the train, I realize that I forgot to shave a whole strip on the back.

I always thought that I would be a hairy old grandma, but due to my best friend: laser hair removal, it looks like that’s not gonna happen.

I love facials- so relaxing and refreshing.

I really should get a pedicure once in a while. Havent had one in over a year (gasp)

I love hydrangea

 I think I am getting wiser and coming into my own with age.

What is your personal style?

Comments (10)

Gotta Get Down on Friday

June 19, 2011 at 2:54 am · Filed under My daughters

I find it so strange that Israel’s Sunday is the rest of the world’s Monday.

Sunday- is the start of the work week.

So weird.

The girls came home from preschool on Friday and I decided to surprise them with make- up time.

About 2 months ago I awoke on a Saturday morning to find my girls COVERED in make up. My make up. Make up that cost A LOT OF $. The kind I can’t find in Israel…. I cried.

They quickly realized that they did something wayyyy wrong.

And mommy learned her lesson: lock up everything of importance.

anyway I bought them a little make up kit for kids.

You know- so that they don’t EVER touch my make up again.

And then I did this to them:

She was happy- really.

That afternoon, I took the girls to a birthday party.

A kid in their  class turned 4.

They were so excited about the party that they talked about it all week.

My husband refused to come with us- so off I went with my girls.

The parents rented out the community center and they had a man come with different animals- reptiles, and bunnies.

My girls were a bit scared of the snakes- and rightfully so.

They danced and ate and screamed.

It was so nice.

I don’t really mingle with other parents.

I find that strange because I am such an extrovert.

I feel like the odd man out.

Other parents don’t really know me because I work and my husband is the primary parent at school.

He’s the face of our family there.

So I’m sort of this mythical creature to all the other mothers.

I am the full-time working mother who should be more involved.

I’m the mother who forgets to pay the parents committee.

WHATEVER.

They can suck it.

Then after the party, I took them to the nearby park and let them run wild.

They loved it.

We came home around 7:30pm and we all sat down to a nice warm dinner- yes, I cook on Fridays!

And as the girls went to sleep I realized something.

Despite the dark days that I had at first.. despite the fact that it took me 3 years to come out from under my PPD.. I am here now.

 present.

I am  the mother that I always wanted to be.

Maybe not 100% perfect.

But I am HERE.

my mind doesn’t run off when I am with them.

I sit and enjoy them.

I take them in.

because they are only going to be this age once.

And I’ll be damned if I miss it.

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Ooh La La

June 13, 2011 at 3:05 am · Filed under Friendships, Me, Trips

Dear French Butter,

It’s been  a week since we last touched.

I never knew I could fall in love in an instant.

But from the moment my lips touched your smoothy goodness, I knew you were the one for me.

I promise, I will be back.

I mean, how can I live without you?

You have changed my life.

You complete me.

Love,

Your Sweetheart

****

So that letter pretty much sums up my trip to Paris last week.

I had the most amazing time in the world.

And really- best birthday ever.

I stayed with a good friend who moved to the heart of Paris a few months ago, and my best gay boyfriend made the trip from New York to celebrate with us. The three of us were really great friends since high school and it meant so much that they helped me celebrate the change in zip codes (aka my 30′s).

I could write for hours on end, but I leave you with bullet points and pictures of my trip:

  • The food is amazing. The bread and butter are to die for. Portions are not big so I assume that’s why french women stay so thin.
  • Hold on to your pocketbook because there are A LOT of thieves.
  • Get on a night club table and dance once in a while. The younger girls will look at you like “What the hell old lady?” – but do it anyway. You will feel like Madonna (esp if you are drunk)
  • Never EVER mix wine and hard liquor. I mean, yes I should know this by now- but since I don’t actually drink I was caught off guard by the puke o-rama birthday night which had me clutching a bucket while I prayed to G-D to let me live.
  • Always appreciate friends who hold your hair as you puke and then clean up the floor
  • Never give a new mother parenting advice. They secretly  hate it- and I stopped after my first day there.
  • Walk around Paris by yourself- you get to go where you actually want to go.
  • Have some bubble tea. It’s strange but interesting.
  • Eat everything you see.
  • Wear some good walking shoes.
  • Get lost- you will find the most amazing places.
  • Hangovers are NOT cool when you are 30.
  • Dont rely on the metro to take you to the airport on a monday morning. Rush hour is crazy and the trains are stalled. Guess who missed her flight?
  • Also- there are NO CABS when it rains. Which also happened to be the case on the morning of my flight (which led to the metro)
  • Shopping is super expensive . My kids got m&m’s from Duty Free and were so happy.
  • Some of the best friends that you will ever have you may have already made in high school.
  • Dont be afraid to look like a tourist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dirty 30

June 1, 2011 at 3:43 am · Filed under From the heart

My birthday is this Saturday.

I turn 30.

When I turned 29 last year, I was all like “what kind of g-d damn age is 29?”-

And it has been a strange year.

Prolific.

absolutely.

I had to get to my bottom, in order to climb my way up.

It was dark down there.

Filled with self hate, pity and despair.

Filled with ugly voices telling me that I was a horrible mother, daughter, wife.

That I was not who or what I always wanted to be.

Not even close.

I started over last year.

I moved to a different country.

Had to start my life over.

Sometimes, that’s a good thing.

You get to reinvent yourself.

No one knows you.

But you know you.

And as hard as you try to be someone you’re not- your true colors leak out for the world to see- bit by bit.

But I am happy to say that I climbed out of it.

Depression is a bitch.

I never thought that I was going to be a statistic.

I guess I never thought I would be a statistic when I became the mother to premature babies either.

But I did.

And that’s ok too.

I have to forgive myself.

I don’t like to.

But I am better now because of it.

My husband and I fight less.

I have more patience for my two beautiful daughters.

I have more confidence in the person that I am today- mistakes and all.

You know how people always say that they wish they could go back to the age of 20 with the wisdom of  today?

I now get it.

I would never want to go back in time because I really am just getting better with age.

***

I will be turning 30 in Paris, France this year.

I always complain that my husband isn’t a big birthday person at all- doesn’t like to celebrate his own or mine.

So I decided to stop waiting around for someone to surprise me, and booked one ticket to France.

A friend lives there- and I will be staying with her- and another friend is flying from NY to celebrate with me in Paris as well.

My husband will be home watching the girls.

And I  am happy with that.

I’m happy that I am in a place where I have people in my life who love me.

But I am also happy that I am in a place where I am finally loving myself.

 

 

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