Gemini Girl

*Hi* 

It’s me. 

I’m alive! 

So the other week, after I found out that I wasnt pregnant, I was a bit upset. I decided to shift my focus and give my boss my notice. I had been waiting until most of our plans were finalized before saying anything at work. Looks like we’ll be moving end of May, so I figured 5 weeks notice would be a great thing for him. 

So I was full of nervous energy as I walked into his office and asked to speak to him. 

So many things were rushing through my mind. 

Too many. 

I told him I was giving him my notice and that I was moving to Israel. 

He was shocked. 

With all of the trials and tribulations that we had when we first started working together, I think we found our groove and made a good team. Is he the best boss that I ever worked for? No.. but because he was tough and precise, it actually made me a better employee. 

He was really nice about it. Said that I must have been going through a lot the past few weeks, and that it never affected my work at all. 

Long story short, I gave my notice. 

I kind of feel like a senior in high school… during the last few weeks in school. 

 It’s a euphoric feeling. 

I like knowing that I am taking a little hiatus from work. I feel giddy. 

Now I feel happy at work, like a weight has been lifted. Like I am making the right decision. 

*** 

A week and a half ago, my husband had hand surgery 

We went in at 12:30pm, the surgery was at 2:30pm. He was acting so strange and said that he wasnt nervous. But he was snippy with me as he was getting prepped (which from my own experience under the knife means he was SUPER nervous). 

Imagine men were the ones to have the babies? Ha. 

Anyway, he was all loopy on morphine by the time we got home. He’s not been able to do much.. which means MOMMY had to do it all. You know, all OF IT. 

I thought I did  a lot before, but I must give the man credit. He does do a lot… I only know this now because I had to do the chores that he usually does (laundry, garbage, 50% of the child rearing). 

Yes, you read right. He does the laundry. I never do. 

I don’t because we live in a building with a SUPER SCARY basement where the laundry machines reside. 

It’s so spooky, I swear. 

Plus, he is STRONGER than I am. And we have a lot of laundry. 

You do the math. 

Anywho. 

The man is in a cast. 

Oh joy. 

Can’t wait to pack all by myself! (Can you sense my sarcasm!?) 

 

**** 

Last weekend I went to a Baby Shower. My “big sister” (sorority) is pregnant with her first child due on Mother’s Day (how freaking sweet?). 

 

 I came late to the party (as usual) and squeezed a seat  into an already crowded table filled with some of my sorority sisters. Of course, I happen to be seated next to a pregnant woman who  is having twins in June. We sat and spoke about twins. I think I may have scared her to death.  I kind of told her the things that NOBODY tells you about having twins. 

I told her about my own experiences of not sleeping, crying when the babies cried, not being able to give 100% to both kids equally at the same time and the mommy guilt that goes along with that, favoring one twin over the other (at times and that its normal), Being robbed of the romantic Mother/Baby connection that happens so naturally, I could go on. 

I did tell her about the good things too… you know, like this: 

 

She said she appreciated my honesty and that she wanted to hear the things that no one tells you. I definitely did… I hope I shared the right things. 

I mean, I wish someone had told me these things when I was pregnant!!!! 

********* 

I have started packing and my dear friends, it is NOT pretty. I have to do it all myself, because he obviously can’t.  This in itself has set my stress levels to HIGH. I realize that I have way too much crap. I think I may be a hoarder and I didn’t even know it! I mean, why else would I still have flyers from college and cassette tapes from 1993? 

Speaking of cassette tapes from 1993, guess who I went to see in concert yesterday? 

Guess? 

Mr. Bryan Adams. 

 

Let me tell you – best concert I have ever been to. 

It was in a college performing arts center that seated about 2000. I had 5th row seats/ center stage (kick ass seats). His band was just him and a pianist. He played guitar/ harmonica and sang. He is so freaking talented it drips from him. It helped that he was super hot (I believe he pitches for the other team of course). 

I was waiting for him to sing “Heaven” which was our wedding song. I know it’s a common one, but to me it meant much more. When I was 13, I had Bryan Adam’s album “So Far So Good” which had the song ‘Heaven’ on it. I played it over and over on my Walkman the summer that I crushed on my husband (because I was in love with him at 13)… and that song made me think of him then. 

So it’s fitting that it was our Wedding song. 

Bryan asked if there was anyone in the audience who used it as their wedding song. Naturally I got up and clapped (no one else did) and he smiled, pointed at me and said “Well, I hope I can do it justice” and sang it. It brought tears to my eyes. 

 

I mean my husband and I have been fighting like cats and dogs since the girls were born. We have so many stressors that we often times forget about “us”.. but hearing that song tugged a string in both of our hearts. 

At the end of the show, he threw his guitar pick into the audience, and whatdouyouknow it landed in my husband’s lap! My husband tapped me on the shoulder and gave it to me! I was giddy like a freaking school girl.. it was disgusting. 

****** 

All in all folks, I am tired and counting down the days until this move. It’s not about moving away, it’s about the possibilities… it’s about putting behind me this chapter and moving forth with a new one…I like new beginnings…

So excuse me if I go missing for a while… I might be under a box or two.