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Archive for November, 2009
The Hunchback of Notre Dame Aint Got Nothing on Me
So a few weeks back, I took my girls to a kid’s birthday party.
It was my best friend’s (Franny) nephew’s First Birthday Party. (You follow?)
We had a nice time, and you could tell that my girls were enjoying themselves (you know, when Soleil wasnt holding on to us for dear life when she saw the Curious George Costume someone was wearing).
Franny’s mother-in-law was there (as she is the grandmother) and usually, she is always very pleasant to me.
During my time at the party, she walked over to me and in front of EVERYONE said :“Why do you stand hunched over? You look like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Every time I see you carrying bags down the street, you are stooped over. Stand up straight”
The first thought that popped into my head was, if she sees me carrying bags down the street, why isnt she helping me ?
Secondly, I was pretty embarrassed that she said that out loud in front of everyone. She could have taken me aside if it was really bothering her. I am all for constructive criticism.
Now mind you, she is not an old little lady. She is about 50.
Her 23-year-old daughter then looked at me and said “I have to live with that”, while Franny was pissed that her MIL would day such a thing to me.
The truth is, I may need to walk a little bit more upright, but that’s not neither here nor there. I am a D* Cup and sometimes it’s hard to lug those suckers around all day! You cant blame me for needing to rest my shoulders people!
I started thinking what it would be like to have a MIL.
My MIL died when my husband was 10 years old, and although his father remarried, it was never like a Stepmother. She is more like his dad’s wife. Never involved in anything.
Everyone who has a MIL from hell always tells me that I’m lucky to not have one. I guess I can’t truly form an opinion on that either way.
From all the stories that I hear, my MIL was a saint. But then again, when someone dies young- they sort of immediately become saint-like.
Franny’s MIL seems to be the stuff legends are made from.
For example, Franny had asked her MIL for a recipe that her husband loves. The MIL was reluctant to give it to her, always “forgetting” to write it down. She finally did, and Franny was excited. She went ahead and made the dish that night, and when her husband bit into it, he looked at Franny and said that it was nowhere near his mom’s. Franny was confused.
A few weeks later, she found her MIL’s recipe book. Turns out, she gave Franny a recipe, but it was IN NO WAY close to the one she gave her. Her MIL omitted ingredients, added cooking time, etc. She was sabotaging her, so that her son would always come home for that dish!
I’m sorry, but that’s a bit insane if you ask me.
I know that mothers are protective of their sons in a different way than they are their daughters. I mean, maybe they feel like they are “The” woman in their lives, and when a wife comes along, she kind of takes that spot from her. It’s sad that it has to be a competition!
I only have daughters, not sure if I will ever have a son- but I do know that if I will, I definitely wont intimidate his wife, or give her a wrong recipe! At the end of the day, if you get along with your son’s wife- it’s all the better for you, wouldnt you say? You get to spend more time with everyone, less fighting, more harmony.
Am I wrong?
Please Dish: What’s your mother-in-law horror story??
*PS* – Don’t forget to enter my contest below! If you live in NYC or the surrounding areas, enter for your chance to win tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil!! Contest Ends 11/28 11PM EST!!*
Of Ulcers and Cirque Du Soleil (Yeahy- another contest!)
I have not been feeling too well lately. My body just ALWAYS feels tired and run down. Last week in particular, I started coming down with something. On Saturday morning (which is usually my day with the girls since hubby works that one day) at 6am, I awoke and my throat felt achy. I did what I usually do when I get a cold- I took Alka Seltzer cold.
My best friend Franny introduced that remedy to me in high school, and I have since introduced it to many others. It helps almost instantly.
Strangely enough, this time- it did the opposite.
I took 2 tablets, 2 advil and after 5 minutes felt my stomach being ripped a part- that familiar feeling… ULCER.
If you have never had one before, it’s pretty much a small hole forming on the wall of your stomach, which releases the stomach acid into your body. IT IS PAINFUL.
Apparently, ulcers are genetic. You either have the gene, or you dont.
I do.
I curled up on the floor in extreme pain. I started puking – what a wonderful way to start the weekend!
I called my mom and she came over to watch the girls.
With all the garbage and drama I have with my mother, she is consistent when it comes to the girls.
I spent the rest of the day recovering from the morning.
When I was young, Saturday nights were the shiz.
Yes, I know that I am “still young” (28 if you are counting)- but my Saturday’s are no longer my own since becoming a mother.
Today, an exciting Saturday night is renting a movie on demand and ordering sushi with my husband. I lurv chick flicks. If I stay up past 11pm, it’s a record (shut up I know it’s sad).
I more than made up for my Saturday indoors, with my trip to see Cirque Du Soleil – WINTUK on Sunday!
When I was on hospital bedrest, all I did was surf the web and watch tv. Since it was November, I would often see commercials for Wintuk. The show runs from November to January here in New York. Every time I saw that commercial, and the word Soleil was mentioned, it just reinforced my love affair with the name Soleil. Even my laptop’s bluetooth connector at the time was called “Blue Soleil” – I am one to not ignore signs.
Then the other week, I received an email from Cirque du Soleil’s PR and was asked if I would be interested in seeing their show, in exchange for writing about the experience. That would be a no-brainer.
We left the girls with my mom, and my husband and I went to the show.
Now usually, my husband and I fight when we are about to go out. I even asked twitter if I was the only one whose husband picks a fight EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we are about to leave the house. Twitter replied that I indeed, was not. Good to hear.
Then I went on to warn all the youngsters on twitter (the 3 that follow me) that they should NEVER MARRY young. I may or may not have been pissed off.
Anyway we cooled down and got on the train.
After a light lunch, we went to pick up our tickets at will call.
4TH row center people!
We got amazing seats- thank you Cirque PR!
10 minutes after we got situated (which to me meant sitting in my seat with a mug of hot chocolate with a splash of Bailey’s- which they sold at the arena),
My Bailey's
a gentleman walked over to me and asked if I was “Gemini-Girl” .
He kneeled over,and personally thanked me for coming to the show, and gave me some Cirque merchandise!
Everyone around me looked at me like “who is this chick getting preferential treatment”- but who was I to care, I love special celebrity-like attention. I wish that guy followed me around all day thanking me for doing things.
“Thank you for brushing your teeth- here’s some swag”
A girl can dream…
Anyway, the curtain came up and my husband NO JOKE leaned over to me and said “Thank You” – THIS IS MONUMENTAL folks. We really did have a great time.
The show was BEAUTIFUL.
Visually spectacular are more the words.
“Wintuk is a whirlwind winter adventure about a boy—Jamie—and his quest to find snow.
Jamie lives in an imaginary city where the arrival of winter has brought intense cold, but no snow! He interacts with a cast of high-energy urban street characters, including acrobats, dancers and talking lampposts. Jamie embarks on a journey to an imaginary North called Wintuk. He is joined by three companions—a female Shaman with magical powers, the girl he has fallen head over heels for and a timid young man called Wimpy, destined to discover his own courage. Jamie’s goal: bring the snow back to where it belongs.
Bursting with the energy of the city and the broad sweep of nature, Wintuk weaves thrilling acrobatics, dazzling ice giants and memorable songs together in a touching story line that resonates with the whole family.”
At the end of the show (SPOILER ALERT) it began to “snow” it was BEAUTIFUL!
We didnt take our kids to the show because they are way too young, but the place was PACKED with kids who were old enough to appreciate it:
Needless to say we both had an AMAZING time (and I am NOT just saying that because I was given tickets). I truly thought it was breathtaking.
Gemini-Girl readers can now receive 30% off for kids tickets as well!
Just enter the code KIDS25 AT TICKETMASTER.COM checkout
My new friends over at Cirque Du Soleil Wintuk were kind enough to offer one of my lucky readers free tickets to the show (amount of tickets to be determined)!
All you need to do is leave a reply to this post to be entered into the contest! Not too shabby eh?
Keep in mind this show runs in New York City until January 3rd.
The contest ends Saturday, November 28th at 11pm EST.
Good Luck!!
xoxo,
GG
For Anissa
Last night I was pretty tired so I hit the hay at an early time.
Of course, I awoke this morning to an email about Anissa.
Anissa suffered a massive stroke yesterday afternoon.
I met Anissa in April under the worst circumstances ever… Maddie’s Funeral.
That’s never a way you want to meet someone for the first time.
I spent a good portion of the day with her, and she told me a bit about herself. Anissa said that the reason she started blogging was because of her daughter Peyton. Peyton was in remission from Lukemia, and she found strength in blogging.
She became a sort of super hero in my eyes at that very moment.
I started reading her blog shortly thereafter.
The woman can write.
She wrote the most amazing post the other week about loving her body despite all of her hang- ups, for her daughters sake…
It made me cry…
Anissa and I hung out at Blogher:
and then again last month at the AimingLow HP Party in NYC.
Apparently, I may have even tried to choke her.
About a month or two ago, Anissa professed her adoration for Ralph Macchio. I was the lucky one to inform her that Ralph has a twitter account. But of course, in true Anissa fashion she couldn’t just “follow” him on twitter- she had to STALK him.
She stalked him so much, that Ralph actually responded to her!!!
I told her that she better buy me a drink because I was the one that made it happen (of course, her persistance did- but she still owes me a drink)
Last night, he sent her a tweet again…
@AnissaMayhew thoughts & wishes 4 ur quick recovery. Do get well soon. Ur fans r steadfast and dedicated. 
Just last week she wrote on my wall “I love you, for your incredible heart and love and I wish this wasn’t the reason I met you (Maddie’s passing), but I’m DAMN glad I did. XOXOXOXO” -
I felt the same way about her too….
That was just last week…
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My father-in-law had a stroke 5 years ago, at the age of 51.
He was a healthy man, who just suddenly one afternoon, started not quite making sense when he spoke.
He was rushed to the hospital and we found out he was having a stroke.
Today, he is fine (after months of physical therapy)- but his speech has been effected slightly. He sometimes calls my husband by his brother’s name (even though he knows its wrong) and still can’t pronounce our daughters names.
He has also not been able to work at all since the incident.
This was a man who was the life of the party, always making people laugh. When his speech was effected and he couldn’t make people laugh with his words anymore, it bothered him to the core. He then started poking fun at his disability so that everyone would feel comfortable with him. I adore this man like no other.
******************************************************************
I just know that Anissa will be OK.
She has to be.
She is the life of the party.
She is the mother to Rachael, Nathaniel ,and Peyton.
She is their strength.
Anissa, please get better. We all love you.
You still owe me a drink.
Fight For Preemies. I know I will.
When I found out that I was having trouble conceiving, I wasn’t exactly surprised. I was in my early 20′s, but I had already been through 3 surgeries.
The first was to remove a cyst the size of a grapefruit along with my right fallopian tube (at age 22). The second, 8 months later, to remove another rapidly growing cyst along with my right ovary (age 23). At the age of 25, after a year of trying to get pregnant to no avail, I had a third exploratory surgery to figure out just what was wrong.
I never received a concrete answer.
“It might be scar tissue build- up from past surgeries that is causing a blockage between sperm and egg” was what the doctors said. So I guess the third surgery did more harm than good due to the new scar tissue that would be formed from that one!
We walked into the fertility center on that cold February morning, and were given no promises that it would work.
Except.. it did.
Two Blastosis were implanted on that May afternoon, and both of them decided to stick around.
When we found out that we were not only pregnant, but having twins- our mouths dropped.
First Picture of the girls together!
I can truly say that it was the HAPPIEST day of my life.
My pregnancy was fairly easy.
I didn’t have much morning sickness, if any. I may have thrown up once or twice in my first trimester. That is pretty awesome for someone carrying twins (so I hear).
Aside from being tired all the time (and HUNGRY) my first few months of pregnancy were very uneventful.
You know… that is until I went into pre-term labor at 25 weeks and was told I would probably deliver that night.
The neonatologist came in to speak with me.
I was told with no sugar-coating, that if my girls were delivered that night they would have a 40% chance of survival.
“Of course, even if they survive, they may have a plethora of problems including vision, hearing, brain bleeeds etc“
It was October 7th.
It was the WORST night of my life.
I suddenly went from a young woman expecting her long-awaited children, to a statistic.
I was scared.
By some grace of G-D, I managed to stay pregnant for another 5 weeks. The viability went up to 97% (if there were no serious problems).
After 6 weeks of hospital bed rest, I gave birth to my daughters.
They were 30 weeks and 4 days.
Which made them just about 10 weeks premature.
Neve 3.4lbs
Soleil 3.10 lbs
Those pictures are hard to see.. even after 2 years.
Over 500,000 babies are born prematurely in the US Every year.
This can happen to anyone.
I was 26 years old!
I remember walking into a baby store a few days after giving birth and asking the sales clerk where the preemie section was. She looked at my stomach (with what still appeared to be a pregnant belly) and said “Hush your mouth, you don’t want to have no premature baby” - my mouth dropped.
I looked at her, told her my daughters were premature. She felt horrible (the look on her face said it all) and pointed me in the right direction.
November is Prematurity Awareness Month, and today November 17th, is Fight For Preemies day
It is the #1 killer of newborns and can lead to lifelong disabilities. Worse: the number has increased 31 percent since 1981. It can happen without warning and for no known reason.
I never thought my daughters would be a statistic.
I am writing to raise awareness.
I am writing for a cause.
I am writing for babies like my daughters, like Madeline Spohr.
Go here to learn more.
Because no baby should have to fight for their life….
Happy Birthday Little Ones.
My daughters are Two years old today.
Two years ago today, they came into this world tiny (red and hairy), and before their time. “Well aren’t twins born early, anyway?” is the question I am always asked.
“Yes- but not 10 weeks early” -is what I ALWAYS answer.
They were supposed to be Capricorns. Their due date was Jan 18th. Truth be told, I was never really happy with the thought that I would have Capricorns. I just don’t get along with them (my brother & former best friend are Caps). Then I thought, well maybe they will be born in December and be Sagittarius (since Twins are often born FOUR weeks early)… then I realized that it would be WAY worse since both my parents (and my boss urgh) are that sign.
But they decided to be born in November which makes them Scorpios. All I hear from people is “Uh oh” when they hear I have two Scorpios on my hands. Apparently, Scorpios can be very suspicious and vengeful. But then again, what teenage girl isnt?
The first year with the girls was NOT easy to say the least.
Going from a couple to a family of 4 virtually overnight was as shock to our systems.
I try not to dwell on their early births that often. Those first two months after their births were the hardest of my life. Of course trying and succeeding are two very different things.
Realistically, I know that they are beautiful, thriving and healthy (B’E'H) today.Yet the way they entered this world was engulfed with so much worry, stress and fright.
All I remember when I awoke from my emergency C-Section at 10:00AM on that Tuesday morning was being told “Your daughters are fine. Baby A (Neve) came out screaming , and Baby B (Soleil) came out crying but had some trouble breathing so she needed to be intubated.”
The Doctors acted as though there was nothing to worry about, and that they would be fine.
I didn’t trust the Doctors.
I hated myself for failing them.
It’s guilt that most preemie moms feel.
My body failed them.
I felt helpless and defenseless.
I needed to leave those two baby girls in the hospital and go home.
Imagine being wheeled out of the hospital with pink balloons tied to your wheelchair, and everyone wondering where your baby is?
Those balloons mocked me.
I went home to an empty house.
An empty nursery.
And even when Neve came home (2 weeks prior to Sol) we never felt complete.
A part of us was missing.
The first few months of caring for newborn twins was probably 100x worse than basic training.
I would stay awake ALL NIGHT and take care of the girls (since they were never on the same schedule) and my mom would come and take over for me during the day so that I could sleep (my husband worked at the time).
And somehow.. we managed.
We even formed a routine!
A good one!
Bottle Bundle- BEST.INVENTION.EVER
Then they started to laugh, and move and giggle… and they became little people.
And although they are only 2 years old, I dont remember my life before they were in it.
A love of a mother for her child is all- encompassing. When your child is sick, you are a wreck.
I was talking to someone the other day (OK my therapist) and I told her how as a mom, I need to have it all figured out, but I don’t.
She said that NO MOTHER has it figured out and we play it by ear. As a child, you just think that your mom is the knower of all things (I know not a real word).
I know that I learn every day.
I know that I make mistakes.
I know that without them… without them …
And yes- it’s hard.
It’s hard to be responsible for 2 little people when you hardly feel like you can take care of yourself.
But I do my best.
And one thing I do know for sure…
I love them more with each new day, and I am proud to be their mother.
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Dear Neve,
Neve, Neve , Neve. My sweet Nevey.
What can I say about you?
This year, you learnt to do many things.
You started to walk and talk.
You were a BAD teether, so I am so glad that’s behind you little lady.
You have a very strong personality and know what you want.
Kind of reminds me of me.
You also have an angry streak (which IS SO your dad’s side)
Don't Make me come over there
If you dont get your way, you scream, scratch, throw yourself back onto the floor and bang your head. You ALWAYS seem to have a bump in the front of your forehead from said tantrums.
Classy.
Forehead Bump
You are very independent and not very ”touchy feely”. When anyone tries to hug you, you fight it. But when you do want to hug and kiss, you will randomly walk up to me and kiss my leg- and my heart smiles because I know it’s from your heart.
You don’t like meat and DESPISE vegetables.
You will pick through your dinner, and leave all the veggies behind.
Right now, you are enamoured with your father. He is your sun and sky. That used to be me, but alas- this too shall pass. It’s funny to see you two together because you are pretty much a cloned version of him.
Even when you push your sister away when she tries to hug you, we know how much you adore her. Every time you get something you always say “Neve” (which is what you call her since you can’t say her name yet) – to make sure there is one for her as well.
You always do things to get a laugh from us, no matter how silly:
And even with that strong, unyielding personality I am so proud to be your mother (BRING IT ON BABY!)
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Dear Soleil,
My sweet little Loola.
You are my sweet, gentle soul.
You love to cuddle and hug on us.
You eat everything on your plate- and ESPECIALLY love your vegetables!
You get frightened easily by people in costumes, slinkys, or anything else you don’t quite understand.
You like to help us out around the house
You worry very easily over EVERYTHING
and adore your twin sister beyond words.
You are a ray of sunshine in our lives, and love to challenge us by doing EVERYTHING we tell you not to do!
I love you and am so proud to be your Mommy.
Happy Birthday Little Ones… Mommy Loves you
Happy Birthday Little Girl
Dear Madeline,
I write you this letter on what would have been your 2nd Birthday.
Oh, how we miss you sweet angel.
The world just has not been the same since you left.
Sadness is heavy in our hearts.
Those who knew you, felt as though the world changed at that very moment in time when you were taken away.
You lived such a short life.
You deserved so many more years.
I know your Mommy & Daddy would give anything, ANYTHING- to hold you for just one more moment.
I want to tell you all about your parents, Madeline.
As hard as losing you has been on them, they have taken your passing and done something so beautiful.
They honor you ever day- in every way.
The day of your service, the church was packed. SO many people love you little girl. We all wanted to be there to honor you. Even those who couldnt be there physically, had a moment of silence and released purple balloons.
Everyone wore purple, your favorite color.
We were all given balloons to release once we exited the church.
At the VERY MOMENT that we were set to release the balloons, a strong wind blew.
It sent chills down my spine.
It was no coincidence.
At the end of April, your mother and father participated in the March of Dimes Walk …
No one would have blamed them for staying home, and hiding from the world.. but no, they chose to go… to honor your memory.
Your parents weren’t just walking… they were standing in the front lines.
They were even asked to give a speech.
“When you leave here today, I hope that you will close your eyes and picture a beautiful toddler with a gigantic grin. Remember that face, and remember the work the March of Dimes does. Carry that smile with you every day, and please continue to support the March of Dimes.” – Heather Spohr
Did you know that there were March for Maddie group walks ALL OVER the United States? So many people wore a purple shirt that day and walked. They walked for you. They walked for a cure. They walked so that no parent should EVER have to go through the anguish of losing child.
In June, your Mommy found out that you were going to be a big sister. She was so worried to tell people because she didn’t want them to think that they were in ANY WAY replacing you.
That would be a silly thought, since we all know that is impossible.
Your parents always dreamed of having two little girls… your baby sister will be born in February (G-D Willing). We know in our heart of hearts (even those non-believers) that you are watching over her, and making sure that she will arrive safely in their loving and longing arms. Your probably already preparing her with stories of fun times you all shared.
Your Mommy & Daddy decided to turn the tragedy of losing you into something bigger…
Friends Of Maddie was a non-profit group that was formed in your honor. Your mommy & daddy decided to start a foundation in your name to help parents of NICU babies. FOM sends NICU kits for parents, in order to provide some comfort in an uncertain time.
In October, your Mommy & Daddy were invited to Washington to speak to the March of Dimes and receive an award for all the hard work that they did for March For Babies.
I know just how proud you are of your Mommy & Daddy for using your memory to help others in need.
Your life was in no way in vain little girl.
Your memory lives in each and every one of us every single day.
We will hold you in our hearts forever.
They say that when you notice 11:11 on your clock, it’s a sign.
They say that it is angels drawing your attention to the time, to let you know that they are there.
It was NO coincidence that you were born on that day.
I know in my heart of hearts that you were indeed an angel on this earth, sent here for a reason.
Please continue to send strength and love to your Mommy & Daddy.
Happy Birthday little girl..we will forever ache for you.
Her Name was Fortune
I had never heard of that name before as she introduced herself to me on the lunch room line. She was in the 7th grade, I in the 8th. She was a new student, and was very friendly.
Over that year, I got to know Fortune pretty well. A group of us would always sit around the lunch room table and talk about celebrities. She knew just as much as I did (which was impressive). She would even tell us about her family dinners, which sometimes included Lacey Chabert of ‘Party of Five’ Fame. She was a distant relative. Lacey was cool back in the day.
My high school was relatively small. OK, tiny. It had 75 girls in the entire school. Roughly 20 girls for each grade. We were all like one big happy family. Fortune was a year behind me.
When I graduated high school, we lost touch. We reconnected on Facebook about a year ago.
I heard that she married the love of her life about 4 years ago. She was secretly in love with him for years, before they started dating. Everyone was ecstatic.
Then 3 years ago she gave birth to a beautiful son.
Last year, she found out she was pregnant with twin boys.
When she was 6 months pregnant, Fortune was diagnosed with Melanoma. Since she was pregnant, invasive treatment was not an option. I know she did have some sort of treatment done, since during her pregnancy she was forced to wear a scarf around her head. Her hair was falling out. She didn’t tell many people.
Three months ago, I scrolled through her pictures on facebook and saw that she had just given birth to twin boys. Fortune looked radiant and so beautiful in the pictures! I remember wondering to myself how she could be so skinny after giving birth to twins.I sent her a message to tell her (from one mother of twins to another) that it would get easier.
But it wouldnt.
Fortune passed away on Saturday.
Those who weren’t immediately close to her were not aware of the battle she was in.
She was fighting for her life.
She was 27.
When word started making the rounds on Facebook, my mouth dropped and I started shaking.
How could someone so young, so beautiful- a mother of three young boys… just go?
HOW?
You try to rack your brain to come up with some sort of explanation to make sense of it all.
There is no sense.
I know that there is a bigger picture in life, and only G-D knows why, but I want to know: Why G-D?
Why take away a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister?
And my heart aches.
It aches for her husband who now walks his life alone.
It aches for her sons.
The sons that will never have known their mother.
The mother who loved them.
The mother who gave up her life to carry her twins to full term without harming them.
There is a special place in heaven for someone like that.
Her name was Fortune, and she was my friend.
Dear Judgmental Reader,
To the person who chose to come to my PERSONAL blog and leave a judgmental comment yesterday-
This blog is my personal diary.
I can say what I want, and vent AS MUCH as I want.
This blog will never ever be a sugar-coated, happy funland filled with pictures of my kids and rainbows.
You got the wrong blog sister.
If you don’t like it, click the X on the top right hand of your screen.
Oh…
Don’t you dare quote the bible to me. I attended a private, RELIGIOUS school all of my life and could pretty much have a bible quote smack down with you.
I will leave you with this quote from your “New” testament (which I know as well apparently):
Matthew 7:1-3
“Don’t judge unless ye be judged”
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged,
and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you”
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Oh-
Don’t you ever, ever call me “HONEY” again.
XOXO,
GG
