Gemini Girl

Lately I have been feeling, what I like to call “Ehh”- putting on a strong face to the world, but secretly shitting my pants about the unknown.

My husband and I HAVE NOT been getting a long. AT ALL.

Money is REALLY BAD ( have yet to pay October rent)

I feel like I am moving in place.

I think I am feeling this way because I have made A LOT of break throughs in therapy. And when that happens, you can have mini breakdowns as well.

You know how sometimes you need to stare at a photo for a long time before you actually see the picture?

I think I am starting to get it.

I think that in your 20′s you’re supposed to find yourself.

 To find out who you are.

To find out where you come from.

 To find out how everything has effected your life- and how you dont have to be a product of your childhood.

I was reading my new O magazine (don’t judge) and Julianna margulies wrote an article about our lives being made up of moments. How the good time and the bad are just moments. Moments that will one day be in the past. So it may be hard now (in the moment)- but life is made up of difficult times.

I am trying to really breathe in my daughters. Sometimes it’s hard to just live in the moment. It’s hard to not get wrapped up in the stupid things, like them fighting with each other ALL.THE.TIME - givemeyourcuportoyorcookieoranythingthatyouareholdingorIwillkickthecrapoutofyou or like the food throwing that happens EVERY.SINGLE.MEAL… so I have started spending some quality time with each of them seperatly- because after all, they are separate individuals. This week I took Neve grocery shopping with me and Soleil to a friend’s house. It was truly nice. 

One on one is easier than two against one.

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Last week, I was able to drop off my girls in daycare and pick them up (something I can’t do since I have to be at work at those times). Dropping off isn’t so fun when they cry, but picking them up is wonderful. To see their little faces light up when they see us. I wish I could bottle that up and keep it with me forever.

On Wednesday we received a note from their daycare that said Soleil was chosen to be the Sabbath Mommy. Since the girls are in a Jewish daycare, every Friday the school does a little reenactment of the welcoming of the Sabbath. One little girl and one little boy are chosen to be the Mommy and Daddy. I remember doing it when I was a child! It was such a big deal to be the Sabbath mommy. Of course, she is too young to understand yet- but it still made me weepy.

Since I had to be at work, I had the teacher take pictures.

 

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On Friday my husband and I decided to go see a movie. I haven’t been to one in ages, so I scoured the listings and chose “Couples Retreat”

 

If you have yet to see it, let me save you $10.00 – Don’t.

I usually love Vince Vaughn, and Jason Bateman.

This was NOT their best film.

The premise is wonderful, and the cast was great but everything else SUUUUUCKED.

This is a film you should see on a boring Friday night at home. Other than that, I would not recommend actually going to the theater to see it.

The break out star in my opinion was Faison Love. He was HYSTERCIAL. Wish he was in the film more than he was.

Gave the film 2 Stars- and I am being kind.

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That night we went to meet a friend of mine in Manhattan at a Huka Bar. We were going to meet the new guy she’s dating (since she is recently divorced) and it turned out it was way more people than just the 2 of them. The place was jam- packed and the food not so great. I had a vodka cranberry and NO JOKE- ended up FALLING ASLEEP. Yes folks, on a Friday night in the city- I end up sleeping in a restaurant. The good thing is, we were sitting on a couch and it was dark so no one but my husband really noticed.

This is what happens when you have been out of the game for so long. All it takes is one drink and I am out like a light at 10pm. In middle of a bar.

Of course, prior to that I did get up and dance with a belly dancer. Because sometimes, you just have to.