Gemini Girl

Friday was my 4th Wedding Anniversary… you know, if you dont count The Titanic. 

Things I remember about that day:

1. It was a  BEAUTIFUL September day.

2. Being hit on by a guy in the car right next to us as my fave cousin and I made our way to the hair salon. She screamed out the window “She’s getting married today” and he yelled “Mazal Tov”!

3. Taking a beauty salon break with my cousin

4. Putting my dress on and hoping that I didnt gain weight since the last fitting. It fit like a glove.

5. Once nervousness set in, I started singing “Yummy Yummy yummy.. I got love in my tummy” over and over again like a crazy person.

6. Walking out of the dressing room and everyone gasping because my dress was beautiful and unlike the current style that they had going on at the time (aka slutty)

7. Not having my bouquet come out the way I wanted (the lacey part) so my cousin B used scissors and thread to do exactly what I wanted with it.

8. My husband to be (technically husband) walking in and not have his jaw drop or compliment me regarding the beauty that was me at that moment. The wow moment was lost on him apparently.

9.  On the way to the photo shoot, we stopped by to grab a bagel (since I hadn’t eaten all day) and SPECIFICALLY asking my husband to get me a cheese and tomato bagel.

Then I asked him to repeat the order back to me.

He proceeds to come out and hand me a pesto smeared bagel that I almost threw at his head. I didn’t eat it because it was going to make me burp pesto and that wasn’t a moment I needed under my huppa (btw he refused to go in and get me another one. Had the nerve to tel me to go in, umm yeah-  like i was going to go in and wait in line in my wedding dress.)

10.Getting to the wedding hall and hanging out in our bridal/groom suite. We had our own personal waiter who brought us champagne, a wedding coordinator that wanted to make sure we were happy… ahh, the good life.

11.  Seeing my sister in law in her aqua blue shimmer dress almost caused  me to go blind with horror:

12. The music started playing and they called my husband to walk down the aisle. His dad and mom’s sister (his mom died when he was 10) walked him down the aisle. Touching moment for all.

13. They called for me to walk down the aisle and I was so nervous. My parents were on either side of me and we walked. I remember them walking so slowly and all I could remember was saying to them “hurry up”

14. After we were married and he broke the glass, noticing that my cousin was absent from congratulating us (i later found him having relations with his girlfriend in my bridal suite- on my veil).

15. Our first dance as husband and wife was Bryan Adams Unplugged version of “Heaven” (because I would listen to it as a kid when I would crush on my husband- for those of you who dont know, I had a crush on my husband from the age of 10)

16. Our second slow dance song was supposed to be Mariah Carey’s  “All I’ve Ever Wanted”- but instead the guy played “When A man Loves A Woman” by MICHAEL BOLTON. I shot him death arrows with my eyes – if looks could kill he would have been dead. FYI he decided to cut the song before it even ended so in middle of people slow dancing, pop music came on. Very subtle.

17. Being told my the photographer to smile with my teeth.. several times (even under my huppa)- I grabbed the guy and told him that he better not ask me that again. That I DO NOT smile with teeth in photos.

18. Finding out that when I was doing the food testing at the hall prior to the wedding, I checked off the wrong box for the fish I wanted. The fish that was served was so spicy that people were shooting lightning from their asses for 3 days.

19. Being caught wearing white platform sneakers under my long dress ( for comfort and height) – didn’t think anyone would see them. My cousin saw them and said to me “this isnt a gym class- this is your wedding”  – bitch I want to be comfortable on MY wedding day.

I am class all the way.

20. My cousin B helping me pee. I could not pull up my garter belt for the life of me. She may or may not have gotten pee on her from the experience. Now that’s love.

21. This:

My dad dancing with big bird on acid

All in all- I wish I could go back to that day.

 Happy Anniversary Husband O-Mine.

Patrick Swayze died yesterday. He was 57 years old.

Although I didn’t know him personally, he was so much a part of my childhood. Dirty Dancing was my obsession as a child. I would watch the movie over.. and over.. and over again. I kept count. I saw it about 50 times from ages 6-11. 

 Why my mother didnt deem it inappropriate is another question for another day- but I am glad she didn’t.

I watched Baby fall in love with the young Johnny.

Johnny was tough and intimidating. He had a heart of gold under that street boy exterior (much like my own husband did as a teen).

And as she fell in love with him, so did I.

Of course I was 6 and didn’t quite know what love was. It was more of an adoration.

I wanted to be Baby.

I knew all the lines of the movie by heart and danced to my boom box while it played the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack.

I twirled around in my bedroom listening to “Will you still love me tomorrow?” being swept up in the lyrics , my jew-fro not moving a hair…

*My favorite part of the film…*

It was a good clean movie- except with the underground grinding and all.

You know how most movies that you loved as a kid don’t translate well when you are an adult?

That is absolutely not the case for this movie.

 I can watch it today, and appreciate it on many levels I didnt quite get as a kid.

The social class commentary, the unrequited love..

You just wanted them to be together, against all odds- because isn’t love all that truly matters? 

Today I am old enough to understand that no.. it’s not all that matters.

When I heard Patrick died yesterday, I was sad- but I knew his days were numbered. My grandmother died with the same affliction as Patrick- pancreatic cancer.

She was diagnosed in October of 2006 and died in June of 2007.

 95% of people diagnosed with this type of cancer die within the first year.

I remember watching the last interview that he gave to Barbara Walters earlier this year. He said that he was fighting the disease with all his might and he was convinced that he would beat it. I knew he was fighting, but I also knew it was just a matter of time.

You fought the good fight Patrick. Thank you for being such a big part of my life.

 I just know that you are dancing up in heaven.

 Did this movie make an impact on your childhood? If not, which movie did?

So, remember when I wrote about my friend Rebecca?

If not, click.

We have been friends now since the Second grade. She was my very best friend growing up. 

She was more like a sister than my best friend.

But at what point do you stop using the fact that you have been friends with someone for 21 years to let go of your friendship?

Rebecca was such a big part of my life for so many years.

And now?

Well, she is a shell of a person.

She is always miserable and depressed.

Yes, I get it.

I have never been in her shoes so I cant understand. But at what point do you pick up the pieces that is your life and say “Fuck it. I will start again?”

Rebecca and I only see one another when there is a social event. We never call one another just to chat, we never email. We dont because there is nothing there. No common ground.

Just history.

But is that enough?

It would be if there wasnt constant bickering.

When the group of us get together, we all have a good time. We always make fun of one another in jest. So someone can say something to her about her former stripper days, yet I cant. She takes offense. OK I get it. But own up to it man. Own up to your past. Your past is what makes you who you are today. I am NOT ashamed of anything i have done in my past… and believe me I did shit that I am NOT proud of.

So in July I decided to have a dinner party for some friends of mine. My friend Heidi became engaged and was in NY so I wanted to celebrate. Naturally, Rebecca was invited.

I put the dinner together (even though it was take out- shut up)  after a LONG day at work. I ran home to prepare. I spent $300 on food. I got a special cake for Heidi and stuck big fake diamond rings in it to surprise her.

Rebecca shows up late.

She sits down at the table and says “Take out? I though this was going to be a home cooked meal?” I told her that I never stated that and if she would like a home cooked meal, she could go into my kitchen and cook something.

Yada yada yada… long story short she asks if we could talk in my bedroom in private. I go in, being majorly busy entertaining 10 people- and she wants to have a heartfelt talk about things that are bothering her about our friendship. I tell her that I have no problem talking, but the conversation would take a while- and we should do it another time (since I had guests in my living room). She huffed and puffed and was not happy that it didn’t happen when she wanted it to.

Back at the table, she made faces and looked at three of my friends and told them that she wanted to leave.

She made everyone uncomfortable.

They left shortly thereafter and she didnt even say thank you.

Our mutual friend tried to have us talk, but it didnt work. I emailed her and told her that we should find time to talk and she didnt respond.

Now here’s the kicker.

Her little sister, someone who I grew up with and considered my little sister got married this week.

Rebecca had emailed me (prior to the fight) and asked me for my home address to send me a wedding invite. I gave it to her.

I woke up this past Wednesday (wedding day) and realized that I didnt get my invite.

I sent Rebecca a text and told her congrats on her sister’s upcoming wedding, and that it’s a shame that my invite got lost in the mail since i was asked for my address.

She wrote back that it didnt get lost, but that she had decided to not invite me after the dinner party.

WOW.

That was it for me.

I told her that I appreciated that she told me the truth, and that her juvenile behavior was something that I was past.

I told her that I am at a different stage of my life and shouldnt have to deal with high school drama. I wished her well in her life.

And that was all.

21 years.

That was the life span of our relationship.

And it  meant the world to me for so long.

I mean we could have made up and went about our lives- forgiving one another for being unintentionally hurtful.

But what I cant forgive is asking her sister NOT to invite me to her wedding. That is something that I will never get over- so how can I ever make up with her?

I have only been her friend this long because of our history. It’s like putting up with your brother’s bullshit because he’s your brother.

But she’s not my sister.

I remember my mother once told me when I was young that there could come a day where Rebecca and I wouldnt be best friends. I scoffed at her and told her that it may happen to other people, but never us.

Never happens to be now.

Question:Have you ever had a friendship end that you never thought would?