Gemini Girl

 

We all have one.

The one who your heart belonged to for so long, yet went unrequited.

Mine was, and will always be *Henry*.

When I was a Freshman in  college and unsure of what I wanted to major in, I decided to give Theater a go.

Since I was 3 years old, I proclaimed to the world that I was going to be an Actress.

Not “If” but “When”

I took a few classes and was asked by a senior to be in one of his student films.

 I was more than excited.

The film was about two college students who try to go on a date and hi-jinx ensue. I swear, I don’t even remember what it was about (and I was the lead). It was a silent film exercise so there was no dialogue. Cant blame me for not remembering.

Most of my scenes were set  in the cafeteria, and that is where I was to met the “director” and the rest of the crew.

After arriving on my first day on set, there he stood, a classmate of the director.

His name was *Henry* and he was there to help his fellow classmate with anything he needed. He was the star pupil and did what he could to help others.

In the few hours that we spent together, I learnt that besides for being adorable (and not in a conventional movie star sort of way) he was Swiss. He had the most dreamy french accent. He was an aspiring film maker and I was a sucker for artists.

Henry was  4 years older than me, and his brother and Parents all moved to Israel the summer prior. He was Jewish and brought up conservative (like me)! He even spoke fluent Hebrew.

 That was all I needed to hear.

I was already wondering what we were going to name our children.

I decided that I was not going to leave that night without exchanging numbers- and we did.

I ran home and called my best friend Franny and proclaimed “I have met the man that I am going to marry.”

Henry and I became fast friends.

The emphasis being on the word- FRIENDS.

He never tried anything romantic on me, and for a VERY long time I wondered whether or not he batted for another team. I mean, he never spoke of women .. or men for that matter.

I met Carlos, one of his good friends and I spilled my heart  out to him. I asked him what Henry’s deal was. He too was puzzled.  When my gay best friend met him, he said his Gaydar (which is totally almost 100% dead on) went off. I said that it wasn’t that Henry was gay, he was just European.

One day, Henry called me up and asked if I wouls help him. He was doing his student film and his actress backed out on him last minute. He wondered if I could replace her.

Anything for him I thought.

Anything.

So I agreed.

The shoot was filmed outside his home, and went on all night. He asked if I wanted to sleep over.

Y to the E to the S

“Sure” I said.

When he was shooting the other actor, I was upstairs in his apartment snooping.

What would I be able to find?

Other than some suspicious looking potato bread that was in his fridge, I went into his bedroom and found a stack of pictures.

Nothing incriminating either way.

Just then the phone rang.

Me: “Hello?”

Voice on line: “Hi, can I speak with Henry?”

Me: “He’s shooting his film downstairs, but should be up soon”

Voice on line: “OK, tell him that his girlfriend called”

And thus began my descent into darkness.

GIRLFRIEND?

What girlfriend is this?!?

We had been friends for almost a year and never a mention of a girlfriend.

At least he wasn’t gay, I thought.

Then suddenly, as if a curtain had been lifted from over my eyes- I noticed a photo on the wall.

HENRY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Oh great.

Wonder-fucking-ful.

When I went back down, I let him know she called- but he was too busy working.

That night, after the shoot wrapped, we sat on his couch and drank some cocoa and talked for hours.

He told me about his girlfriend and how they were often on/off.

If he wasn’t going to  try anything then, he was never going to try anything.

And he didn’t.

And that was it.

For years I pined for him.

It was though he was blissfully unaware.

A part of me felt like he did like me, but was holding back.

Or maybe… he JUST WASN’T THAT INTO ME.

I mean, not everyone is going to feel for you the way you feel for them.

That’s just life.

I myself ended up finding someone who actually loved me.

Henry finished up his degree and moved to California.

Until this day, we speak every few months or so.

He is such a genuine person, and has become quite successful in Hollywood.

Love hasn’t been so kind to him, and a girlfriend who he adored ( a sometimes dancer on DWTS) left him when she found out he was sick and needed to go through months of treatment. 

 He is still undergoing treatments  and surgeries for his ongoing condition.

I hurt for him when he told me this.

He is a VERY good man.

I told him he needed to find someone who would love him and be with him through it all.

I truly hope he finds that special someone one day- just as I have found mine.

I am proud to call him a friend.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Question: Do you ever think about “The one that got away” ?