Archive for July, 2009

Labeling

July 31, 2009 at 3:13 pm · Filed under My daughters

Yesterday, I took the day off of work. This happened because I had a bad cold on Wednesday followed by a trip to my dentist for my first EVER root canal . Prior to having children, I NEVER had a cavity in my life. They  say it has something to do with your pregnancy depleting your calcium levels.

I have had to have 2 fillings and 1 root canal since giving birth.

What I tweeted on wed night...

What I tweeted on wed night...

Oh yes, loads of fun.

So  Thursday morning:

We decided to take a little trip to the Home Depot with kids in tow, to purchase a door for our kitchen. We need this to keep the little buggers out.

We’ve been using their double stroller as a kitchen barrier, but someone is getting a little crafty.

Climbing on to the stroller by you.

My husband was standing at the check out counter at the Home Depot with Soleil in the cart.  I was standing to the side with a screaming Neve.

A woman  was standing behind my husband on the check out line and says to the  cashier “That woman really needs to get that baby out of here” — REFERRING TO ME AND NEVE.

My husband turns around and asks the woman , “Do you mean that woman over there with the baby?” – pointing to me again.

She said yes.

“Well you are referring to my wife and twin daughter. We will be out of here once we pay for our items.” he said.

The woman turned beat red and then mumbled something or other about how Soleil is so quiet compared to Neve. This woman then had the gall to  try and make small talk  with my husband by saying…

wait for it…………

 “I guess she’s the good twin ” (referring to Soleil)

OMG.

That is THE WORST thing you can say to the parent of twins. THE WORST. Take note people.

It’s even worse than dressing  twins alike ( in my opinion- don’t hate me chas).

I believe that just because 2, or 3, or 6 babies are born at the same time- does not mean that we should box them up into categories (all though I know it may be easier for those on the outside).

When I found out I was having twins of the same gender,  I was a bit freaked out.

I, as a parent, want my children to be treated as individuals.

Individuals with different needs, desires, likes, dislikes, and passions.

And in ONE SECOND someone can come in and label them.

 Just like that woman did.

When someone I know (like a co worker or such) asks me the same question, I always answer the same way :

“They each have their bad days- so there is no good ‘twin’ or bad ‘twin’.”

In our household (and with the people we come in contact with)- we always encourage no labeling.

So yes, Neve may have a shorter fuse, and Soleil may be a bit more physically adventurous, but that doesn’t mean we go around labeling them.

They are JUST as different as two siblings born at different times.

They just happen to be born at the same time…

IMG_3867 by you.

Comments (8)

My Two Diamonds

July 30, 2009 at 12:33 pm · Filed under Family, Uncategorized

My grandmother meant a lot to me.

She was a woman with no formal education but at age 55 decided to get a tutor to teach her the alphabet.

She was born in Yemen, in what we think was 1935 (in Yemen, there were no birth records at the time for common folk). She never knew what her birthday was so she chose May 1st.

She moved to Israel with her family in her teens and met my grandfather by accident. Her sister was supposed to go on a date with him and right before the date, her sister fell ill. She decided to send my grandmother to let her date know that she could not arrive (since there were no cell phones or pay phones back in the day. And even if there were, I doubt they would have them in the desert).

My grandfather took one look at her and he fell in love (or so he tells us).

                             *I assume you now know where I get my afro from. Ahem*

My grandmother had a huge heart.

She befriended EVERYONE regardless of race or religion. She was a lover of animals (she always fed the stray cats outside her home because “they had souls too”), and a lover of beautiful clothes and accessories (my downfall as well).

She had a secret drawer FULL of jewlery. And by secret, I meant like the drawer was built in to her dresser and only she knew how to get to it.

She was never into the fancy diamond pieces, but more vintage inspired necklaces, rings and bracelets.

It was so much fun shopping for her, since she was always so excited when you got her a new piece of jewelry.

I remember when I was a teen, she had the most beautiful ring on. It had lavander jewels. I had never seen anything like it.

 

IMG_3882

Man Hands

I begged her to let me have it and she refused. She said “Tell you what- when I’m dead, you can have it.”

I didn’t have to wait that long, as she gave it to me a year later. 

 I adore it until today.

A few year after that, when I was in my early 20′s- she gave me another ring. It wasn’t particularly shiny, but a sweet band.

IMG_3920

After my fingers became huge during my pregnancy, and I couldn’t wear my wedding ring- I started wearing this band.

I wear it every day on my ring finger (because lets face it, I have yet to fit into my wedding band).

I remember she had a gold ring that had letters carved out all around it.

 It spelled out “I love You”

I always thought it was corny.

When she passed away, my grandfather’s sister (who happens to be a medium) had a dream about my grandmother. She said that my grandmother came to her and told her that there was a particular ring hidden in her drawer with writing on it, and that she wanted my grandfather to have that ring.

They had no idea what they were looking for.

They went into the secret drawer and there it was- the “I love You” ring.

She wanted my grandfather to know that she loved him.

He wears it on his pinky every day.

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Earlier this month, my grandmother’s Jewelry box was opened. It had been closed since she passed away, as my grandfather REFUSED to  distribute her jewelry to her daughters and granddaughters.

He just was not ready.

As the second anniversary came and went this past June, it was opened.

My mother and her 4 sisters gathered around and they went through her things.

I asked my mother to bring back something for me.

She brought me back a ring:

IMG_3922

It was just my grandmother’s style… much like my own.

It was the last gift that she would ever give me.

 

I will cherish it always, and hold on to it so that I may one day give it to my own daughters. When I do, I will tell them just what an AMAZING great- grandmother they had, and just how happy she was when she learnt that her eldest granddaughter was pregnant. When she was in her final days ( and we found out that we were having twins) – I sent her a picture of the ultrasound:

8 week b

Neve & Soleil

She took one look at the picture, and said ” Look at my two diamonds.”

I’m glad I could bring her some joy and happiness right before she passed.

I’m glad I could give her the diamonds she never had.

 

Comments (11)

Flying Toasters

July 28, 2009 at 10:47 am · Filed under Neve, Uncategorized

Let me introduce you to my first born daughter Neve:

Neve wearing Oren's fedora by you.

I like to wear hats

 

My daughter Neve  is pretty much a cloned version of her father (except with a vagina of course).

 

Neve/ Her Dad at the same age

someone looks like daddy by you.

Cloned baby

 

She is outgoing, dramatic, FUNNY and has a BAD temper.

 Angry Neve by you.

I like to think that she got the first three AMAZING traits  from me. Because OMG, I was quite the actress as a child.

 

Me

Me

But the temper?

The temper she received from her father’s side of the family (because OMG the insane stories I could tell you about my husband’s family).

For example, my husband once told me that his dad became so angry once, that he took a brand new toaster over that he had purchased that same day- and flung it out the window.

The following day, he purchased a new one- only to fling that one out the window as well that week.

Oh yes.

 

When Neve doesn’t get her way, she falls backwards to the ground and bangs her forehead on the floor- repeatedly.

The doctor says that its her temperament.

DUH.

She perpetually has a black and blue on her forehead- due to the almost daily head banging (ie not getting everything she wants).

 

B & W by you.

Can you see the black & blue on her forehead?

Usually, her father and I do our best to ignore this.

We don’t give in to this type of behavior- so she usually stops because she realized her plan of self mutilation wont help her in her plight.

My mom on the other hand, Screams “OHHH NOOOOO” and will give her or let her do whatever it is that caused her to cry in the first place.

And then she’s happy.

 IMG_3869 by you.

What will I do when she becomes a teenager (and PMS kicks in) you ask?

I’m moving out.

Comments (5)

“I didn’t Shave my legs”- and other things overheard at Blogher09

July 27, 2009 at 1:24 pm · Filed under Blogher

So I need to write a Blogher recap- huh? I am so exhausted that my fingers hurt (and I didn’t even bring my computer with me).

Originally, I was set to take off on Thursday at 7:00PM EST and arrive in Chicago at 9:00PM CST- just in time for the parties.

No such luck.

It was raining and my flight was delayed by just about 3 hours.

I sat in the airport and had a glass of wine, purchased the new Michael Jackson book  like someone else I know (though I didn’t take the cover off like he did) and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally the plane took off, and I arrived at the hotel at 11:45PM to a room full of people in PJ’s.

Great.

Friday:

Got up and dressed and headed to the conference. The hotel was FILLED with bloggers. It was surreal.

I got to meet some people who I have been reading for a while

Some people who I will now be reading (I’m talking to you Dawn)

Some kick ass people (FreeAnissa !)

Highlights:

1. The community keynote was the best experience for me. I mean, these women (and men) remind me of why I blog. Why I am a part of this blogging community.

Some made us laugh, some made us cry… it was a total mixed bag. Knotty Yarn was HILARIOUS and Melissa Ford made me cry and laugh.  Heather closed out the keynote- which was fitting.

She made us all cry.

Heather closing out the Keynote by you.

2.Chicago is like a miniature, CLEANER New York. I just wish I got to walk around a bit more. It was beautiful.

Chicago by you.

Chicago by you.

Eating at the Reagle Beagle- a nostalgic eatery- the theme is 70′s & 80′s pop culture (my kind of place!)

The Reagle Beagle menu- the best! by you.

3.The parties were a lot of fun. Of course, I am not a big drinker. Wish I were because I would have been tearing up the dance floor.

Mama Pop Party by you.

Mama Pop Party

Unicorn cake by you.
Dude- a unicorn shaped cake!
Dude! Pizza! Gino's, no less! by Undomestic Diva.
SUPER SECRET PIZZA PARTY!
CHEEZBURGHERS by you.

Cheeseburgher's party

 

Bowlher/ White trash mom by you.

Bowl Her

 

Bowlher 2009- I bowled a 6/6/6 by you.I had the lowest score!

  (proved by this tweet by undomesticdiva)

  • @Geminigirl64 is proving that you can’t be beautiful and a good bowler.

    •  

    4. Getting to actually spend time in the same room with one of my BFF’s

    Me & My Bootiful Heather by you.

    5. I got to meet Tim Gunn. He was taking pictures with folks and I had the nerve to ask him what he thought of my outfit.

    Ha.

     He told me I was doing the right things with colors and proportions. He even complimented my necklace.Then after asking me what I blog about, he says :

    “Can I ask you a question?”

     ”Of course” I replied.

    “Why are you wearing pantyhose?”

    I knew he would say something, as I was committing a huge fashion crime. I wore open- toed sandals with pantyhose.

    “Do you really want to know?” I asked him quietly.

    “Yes” he responded.

    “I didn’t have time to shave my legs”

    He laughed and said “Well, that’s the best reason isn’t it?” and I turned a deep shade of red (although you cant really tell on olive skinned people).

    3756179762_385a9ff0bb

    6. Meeting awesome new bloggers

    7. Having the option to pay a few extra dollars and sit in First Class on the way back home.

     

    Flew back on first - bec i roll like that by you.

    I never knew what I was missing in first class. I mean, when the air waitress (yes, I call them that) asked me “Would you like a hot towel?” I knew I was in heaven.

    Now I kind of wish I never sat there, because it has ruined me for all other flights.

    All in All it was a WONDERFUL experience. The best part- Next Blogher is in NEW YORK. My turf baby.

    *Pictures in myflickr stream- if you are so inclined)

    Comments (20)

    Get to Know Gemini-Girl (Blogher ’09)

    July 20, 2009 at 1:34 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

    I am going to Blogher this year people, and I am SUPER DUPER excited.

    I have been blogging now since February of 2007- and I’m no mathematician, but that makes it about 12 years.

    I never even really knew about Blogher until last summer.

    My husband and I were in LA this past January, and as we were having lunch with the Spohr’s, the subject of going to Blogher came up.

    My husband was against this, as this would mean he would need to babysit (can you call it that when it’s your kids?) the girls the entire time.

    But- he came around when I threatened to run away permanently told him I loved him.

     So he let me out of my dungeon for a few days.

    I will be sharing a room with the world famous Spohr’s, and the equally awesome Meghan.

    Oh yeah, and little baby Spohr who is currently baking in his mommy’s tummy. Oh, you didn’t hear about that (that’s because I can keep a secret) ? Go to Heather’s blog !

    So, if you are new to my blog, Welcome and let me tell you a little bit about myself:

    I need more Vitamin D

    I am a mom of twin daughters (suppose those two go hand in hand?)

    I don’t believe in dressing twins alike.

    I have a jew-fro which I make sure is always blowdryed.

    I like to buy stuff

    I have known my husband since I was 3 years old, but it took us 18 years to get together (and no, it wasn’t an arranged marriage)

    I am double jointed (but not in any fun party trick sort of way)

    I am a foodie who keeps kosher (oxymoron?)

    I have no desire to go sky diving or parachute from a plane.

    I have ESP but it only works when it wants to work- and no I cannot predict tonight’s winning numbers (If I could- do you think I would share?)

    I ADORE VH1 (STD-ridden) reality shows.

    I am somewhat allergic to kiwi’s (yes, you can be somewhat allergic)

     

    kiwi by macxoom.

    I am going skating with Seth Green in August (because I roll like that- literally).

    So come on down and say hi to me at blogher- I wont bite (unless you want me to ROAR)

    Comments (6)

    Inside the Actors Studio Questions

    July 17, 2009 at 10:12 am · Filed under Uncategorized

     
    1. What is your favorite word?
    “Dude”
    (mostly because it makes me feel like I’m in a Pauly Shore movie, and I LOVE Pauly Shore Movies.)

    2. What is your least favorite word?

    Booger

    (Mostly because I dont like them)

    3. What turns you on?

     A man who smells good and cleans the toilet

     

    4. What turns you off?

     

    5. What sound do you love?

    When my daughters say “Mama”

     

    6. What sound do you hate?

    When my  girls cry in an annoying fashion (like so):

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/geminigirl64/3718265637/

     

    7. What is your favorite curse word?

    Mother F**ker (also Samuel L Jackson’s fave )
     
    8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
    Have a show on the Food Network- i can say Delicious a lot!

    9. What profession would you not like to do?

    Cleaning toilets (see #3)

    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

    Did you bring pie?

    Comments (2)

    I’m a Friend of Maddie

    July 16, 2009 at 9:28 am · Filed under Uncategorized

    On rare occassions  do you happen to find a friend by accident, someone who you instantly feel as though you have known your entire life. Someone who is like a long lost sister.

    For me, that person is Heather Spohr.

    Heather is somewhat blog famous now- unfortunately because of the tragic, soul- wrenching loss of her daughter Madeline.

    As a NICU mom myself, it’s hard not to have that part of your life seared into your every day.

    I look at my beautiful daughters and know that life could have been VERY VERY different for us.

    When Heather lost Maddie, I ached for her. I knew that it could have easily been me in her situation. I felt guilt.

    Being a NICU mom is not something i wish on anyone. Looking at your tiny child (or children in my case) and knowing that you as a parent cant do anything to help them. They are solely in the hands of the NICU. You give up your parental rights so to speak, and trust that those AMAZING Doctors and nurses will take care of your little ones.

    I remember searching out for anyone who had been through the NICU experience and had beautiful, healthy children. I didn’t know anyone in my own life that did.

    In the parents room at the NICU there was a wall with a collage of pictures. Pictures of NICU graduates, looking beautiful and healthy. Just what I needed to see.

    We were first time parents, scared and unprepared.

    Through the darkness of Maddie’s passing, Heather & Mike are trying to provide light for other NICU parents.

    Today, they have  officially launched :

     

    Their mission:

    Is to provide support to the families of critically ill babies in an effort to help ease the transition into NICU life and to be an ally until the end of their child’s hospital stay.

     

    Maddie's Bags

    Their Family Support Packs will be provided to the nursing staff of Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Units across the country and will be distributed, at their discretion, to families of children being admitted to the NICU for long term care.

    The packs will consist of:

    • A large reusable bag
    • A Tri-folio with a pad of paper for note taking, and an accordion file to help keep track of paperwork
    • A reusable water bottle
    • A disposable camera
    • Antibacterial Lotion
    • Chapstick
    • Tissues
    • Pens
    • Mints
    • A travel toothbrush with toothpaste
    • Snack Bars

    When Heather told me that she was doing this, I wasn’t surprised. Heather & Mike are amazing people who know that their child’s life was not in vein. They want to help anyone they can.

    Heather asked me if she could use a few pictures of my girls and our NICU experience on the site.

     Of course, it wasn’t a question.

    When I look at the picture that she posted of me with Soleil, it takes me back to that time:

    I was so scared. So frightened. I wish there was an organization like this when I was a NICU mom to help ease my fears and offer support.

    Now there is.

    Click here to donate.

    Every dollar helps.

     

    Maddie has some great parents.

    Comments (5)

    Wordless Wednesday

    July 15, 2009 at 9:11 am · Filed under Wordless Wednesday

    I remember when I was a little girl, I saw an episode of Sesame Street where Ernie teaches you how to make a spoon hang to your nose by breathing hot air on to it.

    I remember thinking to myself that it wasn’t possible.

    I succeeded in doing so once as a child, and it has never happened again.. until now.

    Behold:

     

    The spoon actually clung to my nose! I learnt this on an episode of sesame st as a kid! by you.

    Don’t be jealous.

    Comments (4)

    From the Heart

    July 14, 2009 at 9:48 am · Filed under From the heart

    I have about 10 blog posts sitting in my queue, waiting for me to hit publish, or scan pictures to attach to the post…

    but I just don’t have the energy.

    I have writers block.

    Do I write about my weight loss journey and all that entails?

    Do I write about the time I was almost killed in a car accident- pinned under an 18-wheeler on the highway?

    Do I write about feeling like a shit mother most of the time, about not being able to give 100% of myself to my girls? That sometimes in the deep pockets of my mind I wonder what it would be like to have a singleton, and all the love and attention that one baby would be able to attain?

    Do I write about how I am uncovering deep seated issues related to my father? Apparently, a major part of my shopping addiction is because the man was never ever giving with either money, or affection?

    Do I write about how most of the time I feel like I’ve made a mistake marrying my husband? Marrying someone with SO FREAKING MANY issues stemming from his own fucked up childhood. Marrying someone who is fully aware of said issues and knows he needs therapy, but never actually dials the therapists number?

    Do I write about how I am secretly jealous by how my husband is a better parent than me (even though I am the mother and it should be me)?

    Do I write about how I hate my job, and yet not overly qualified for the things I want to do?

    Do I write about my self loathing, even though I AM WELL AWARE that I am a good person, with wonderful things to offer this world and those that I love?

    Do I write about how I am feeling scared and anxious about going to Blogher next week, and being secretly judged by everyone there?

    I have been trying to make this blog fluffy, fun reading fodder, but I always feel compelled to use this as a vehicle to sort out the way I feel. This has been my therapy for 2.5 years. When I first started blogging, I was more open and honest than I am today because I had 2.5 readers. Today, my number of readers is much more than that- and it scares me.

    I don’t know who’s reading, and what they are finding out about me.

    It’s time to put that fear aside and write what’s from the heart.

     

    The best writing always is.

    Comments (6)

    You don’t have to put on the red light

    July 9, 2009 at 9:45 am · Filed under Childhood, Uncategorized

    One day when I was in the second grade, a new student was introduced into the class (let’s call her Rebeca).  It wasn’t the first day of the school year, nor was it a new student of the school. Rebeca was a first grader who was doing exceptionally well in class that the school decided that in order to be challenged academically, they would skip her a grade.

    I remember Rebeca putting her head down on the desk and crying because she was scared.

    I went up to her, in all of my 7 year old glory, and told her not to cry.” I will be your friend” I told her.

    And we were- the best of friends for many, many years to come.

    Rebeca was an extremely shy, book smart girl.

    I was VERY outgoing and liked to be the center of attention.

    We meshed so perfectly together.

     Rebecca’s parents always packed her nutritious snacks to take to school- a head of broccoli, some carrots. My mom would give me cash to buy snacks from the vending machine – which I did daily.

    I would walk with Rebeca hand in hand to the mecca of all snack machines and we would pick out what we wanted. We then got two plastic plates and divided the booty between us.

    I’m sure her healthy conscious parents knew nothing about this.

    As we got older, I started to realize that something was off with Rebecca’s father. He was always hovering, and would constantly berate his daughter. He never let her go out to movies with friends, and one time when a bunch of girls and boys went out to the theater , he showed up and smacked her across the face in front of everyone.

    He punished her for a long time, and never let her out of his sight. He didn’t want us speaking.

    She always feared him.

    Often, she would call me when her father wasn’t home At that age, naturally all we did was talk about boys. He once recorded our phone conversation, called up my house and told my mother that I was  a bad influence on Rebeca and that he had a tape to prove it. He said that he didn’t want us to be friend’s anymore and that I should never call his house.

    As I watched my mother talk to this lunatic on the phone, I started to shake. He never liked me. How was I a bad influence?

    I will never forget my mother’s crowning glory, when she took that phone into her bedroom, locked the door behind her and went off on this man. She told him that I came from a good home, that his hovering and suffocation of his daughter will ultimately come back and bite him on the ass. My mother predicted that he was the one who was ruining his daughter.

    As she hung up the phone, my mother told me that his voice got lower and lower when she stood up to him.

    As I was crying in my pink bedroom, over losing the only best friend I had known , my brother walked in and said that Rebecca’s father was outside of my house.

    I flipped out.

    I walked out  (behind my mother of course) and there he was, with Rebeca (who seemed freaked out). I hadn’t seen her in months.

    He came all the way to my house to APOLOGIZE to my mother, and said that Rebeca and I could be friends again.

    We ultimately ended up in different high schools, but always remained close.

    When Rebeca was signing up for college, she was going to stay local and go to my school, but a last minute fight with her father caused her to apply to a school further away . She left for college- and away from her father.

    Being independent for the first time, she did many things that she was sheltered from her whole life. She started drinking, doing drugs, and battling depression- even tried to kill herself.

    She applied for a bar tending job, but the place said they did’nt need bar tenders.

    They did need dancers.

    So, she became an exotic dancer.

     

    My sweet, book worm, shy best friend was no one I recognized.

    She became a person who dropped out of college,  had a 60 year old sugar daddy (who she  then had to take out a restraining order against because he was stalking her). She became a person who would date an ex con and become pregnant with his baby twice ( 2 abortions). She became a person who was so far removed from who she could have been, if it were not for her father.

    We stopped speaking for a few years, but we were always in touch. It was hard for me to accept that the friend who I grew up with and loved- was not the same person that stood before me. She was now someone else.

    She still comes around for my birthdays, the girls celebrations and many dinner parties I have.

    She still hasn’t spoken to her father.

    It’s funny how at the end of it all, I really wasn’t a bad influence like her father thought. Here I am: a a college educated, married mother of two- while his daughter is still looking for a place in this world and never quite feeling like she fits in anywhere.

    I don’t say this often, but… I guess my mother was right.

    And even after 21 years, and all the life that is between us- I will always be the one to hold her hand and lead her to that vending machine.

    Comments (6)

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