Gemini Girl

 OK, I get it. You want to protect your child from the outside elements. But is this the way to do it? Totally reminds me of that scene from the movie Alien.

The Baby Mop:

 

 A genius idea people!!! The baby is on the floor anyway- why not have him mop it up while he’s down there! The ad reads: “Make your children work for their keep”- DAMN RIGHT.

 

Plush Uterus (I know someone will google this and end up here):

Not everyone’s uterus looks like this people. Mine is only half smiling.

p.s  This toy was recalled because the ovaries can be removed and pose a choking hazard… much like in real life!

Croc Shaped Animal Bed:

 

This is a pet bed shaped like a Croc people! Why did I not think of this? I mean, for only $99.95 this could be in your home- uglying up your living room or bedroom. Oh, and it comes in several colors.

The Chia Obama:

When it came out a few months ago, it was pretty controversial. Some people claimed that they thought it was racist and many stores wont carry it. I on the other hand think it is AMAZING. I can say this because I too have an afro. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE  a chia pet of my face that grows an afro. I mean, who wouldn’t? 

Catch phrase on box “Can you grow one? Yes you can!”

Truth be told this is WAY more offensive (NSFW)

 

The Va-J-J Visor:

Taken from their site:

What On Earth Is The Va j-j Visor?

The Va j-j Visor is a revolutionary, patent pending, protective vaginal shield designed to help protect a woman’s inner vulva area (inner labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening). The Va j-j Visor is a soft and flexible cup that covers the inner vulva area (inner labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening). The Va j-j Visor is a soft and flexible cup that covers the inner vulva area and naturally fits the shape of your body, while your body’s natural muscular tension holds it effortlessly in place. It is also hypoallergenic, disposable and recyclable.

Why Do I Need The Va j-j Visor?

The Va j-j Visor will help protect all of those tender and sensitive parts that you don’t want exposed during various methods of hair removal. Brazilian and bikini waxing, depilatories and shaving, hair coloring, tanning or spa treatments. It can also be used as a hygienic shield while trying on swimwear or intimate apparel, and during body piercings and tattooing.

• Disposable
• Hypoallergenic
• Protects against UV rays - (SAY WHAT?)
• Provides hygienic protection
• Recyclable
• Doctor recommended
• Made in the USA
• 100% satisfaction guaranteed
• Patent pending
• Tested and approved for laser hair removal
• CE Certification

Men’s Underwear Repair Kit:

Why is it that men do not throw out their underwear until it disintegrates? I literally have had to throw out my husbands ripped loin clothes because as I like to tell him, I could see his “brain”.. ahem.

ANYWAY… this is a truly hysterical gift! You can get it here for $10.95, or you know- you can just go buy him some new underwear