Gemini Girl

You all have a special treat today- a guest post by Eden or the artist former known as “Topcat”.

If you aren’t reading her- START NOW. She is one of the strongest people I have ever known. She is no holds bar and writes about everything and anything (Drug addiction, sex, parenting, bodily functions, toe hair, crazy family, etc).

I started my blog over two years ago. I didn’t think anyone would read it. Eden was one of my first readers. She is now one of my very good friends, even though we have yet to meet “IRL”… I fear that when we do, we will take over the world… and that scares me a bit.

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“Irish, Italians, Jews and Hispanics
Religious nuts, political fanatics in the stew
Living happily not like – me and you
… in New York, New York.”

- U2 ‘New York’

I have been cyber-friends with Gemini Girl for TWO YEARS. She knows more about me than most people who know me IRL. We met back when we were both doing IVF ..having just got two embryos transferred, Maya was waiting to see if she was pregnant.

I was totally star struck … not only was she young, pretty, and cool ……. but she lived in New York!!! The town that tops my list of places to go before I die.

Here’s what she wrote on my blog, two years ago:

“ …. Do you know how hot it is in NY? The humidity is fro-ing up my hair and the subway lost power last night. I still think its nuts how one side of the world is freezing while another side is melting.
Yeahy- your starting bcp’s!  (birth control pills- you start them right before you start IVF treatment)

You are on your way!
Mwaa!””

I was getting to know a real, live American.

 I first visited America when I was in fifth class (grade). I counted down the days until we flew out … my green velvet knickerbockers and frilly white shirt laid out on my bed, ready for the early flight the next morning.

I got off the plane and fell in love.

I kept getting accosted by Hare Krishnas everywhere we went …. L.A., San Franciso, San Diego … I was like a magnet, stopping to talk to them in their long robes, giving me free red roses.

It would piss my mother off so badly … one time she came right up, screaming at them and me, and dragged me away. It was because her brother went to America in his twenties and became a Moonie, I’m sure.

America. Oh my God. The people, the food, THE HAMBURGERS. Best fricking
hamburgers on the planet. I’ll never forget watching T.V. in the hotel rooms,
bewildered and yet so very at home with the seven hundred million channels.

My sisters and I were in our element, having been brought up by shows like
Bewitched, Mr Ed, I Dream of Jeanie, Brady Bunch …. and our unanimous favourite of all time, M.A.S.H.

I tried to convince Dave to call Max “Hawkeye” when he was born, but he wasn’t having it. Just yesterday I was having a conversation with one sis, about whether we loved Hawkeye as a father figure or a lover, so deeply was his character ingrained on us as young girls. I smell my food before I eat it, which drives Dave CRAZAZY.

Hawkeye taught me.

I remember going to San Diego Zoo by bus, the lady next to me had the biggest fattest piece of gum in her mouth. “Wow!” I thought, “They even chew GUM better here!!”

We went back again a few years later, this time to Hawaii for a few weeks. We
sailed on the S.S. Constitution and I fell in love with a square jawed American
waiter named Steve. I joined a different, nicer family. They all spoke to each
other, and had FUN! I went in the fashion parade, choir, and talent quest. To
this day I can sing and do all the actions to “The Hooky Lau”. We stayed back in Oahu at The Royal Hawaiian .. the big pink hotel. Years later, I got a job as a receptionist for Jetset travel and could fly for free to Hawaii …. I walked
past, sadly remembering one of the very few times we all had a “proper” family holiday.

So. America. I love it.

Maya is not the only Americano I know now … I have met so many wonderful and cool women online. I love blogland, and wish so bad I could come to BlogHer this year. I’m coming next year …. Maya has to go next year, too. I need to say thank you to the girl who always makes me laugh, sometimes cry.

We have matching man hands!! She makes fun of her Jew-fro, and posts pictures of her messy BEDROOM on the internet. She reminded me last May that the birth of my baby should be a celebration. Even though I am TEN years her senior, I know we would totally hit it off in real life. She has ‘tude, and, like myself … is NOT afraid to tell people what she thinks. Heh.

The only problem is, if I do come to America, I may never leave. Because, you know ….. HAMBURGERS.