Conversation:
Woman: So, were you surprised when you found out you were having twins?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Were you scared?
Me: No.
Woman: It’s so much fun to have twins. If I had twins I wouldn’t work. I would stay home and raise them.
I considered that a jab
Me: Well personally, if I stayed home all day I would end up crazy. Plus, if I stayed home and put all my effort into raising children, and not have a past time or job of my own, I would probably feel empty and lack meaning once my kids were grown and out of the house (What happened with my mother which I promised I would never do).
Why do I feel like I have to apologize for working? This is not the first time.
I have always wanted to be a working mother. Yes, it is hard for me with all my heart and soul to leave my daughters in the mornings and go to work. But I know that:
A) Financially, I have no choice.
B) I provide our medical insurance/ 401k etc
c) I want to have a social life.
I am in no way knocking S-A-H-M, I salute you! I just know that personally, I couldn’t do it.
I would love to stay home with my children for the first 3 years of their lives, and maybe even have another child- but that is impossible for me.
anyway, on an unrelated note- we finally have the girls social security numbers!!!!!
Now, the problem:
We need to get passports ASAP as our flight is in less than 4 weeks away. I went to the post office with all the filled out paperwork- but alas, they need my daughters to be there in person with me!
I guess that makes sense, but it’s a huge pain in the ass! I work mon-fri, so my only option is to do it on the weekend. I worry about doing it so late bec of our time constraints. I will expedite them, but that means they promise that we should have it within 4 weeks or less! Sigh. This whole process will cost us about $300.
Will keep you posted.
Not too interesting today, there’s always tomorrow.
BTW- Totally added my blogroll (for all of you who have been asking). I had one, but when I edited my layout, it somehow disappeared! Anyway, it is all there.
I leave you with the cutest pics of :
Soleil rubbing her head. This soothes her, I find this funny for two reasons:
1) When she was really small, I wouls caress her head and it would calm her and make her fall asleep. It seems like she can do it on her own now.
2) My father and his brothers do the same exact thing when they are resting! They put their hands on their heads- it’s inborn I tell you!
Neve on Tummy time. She hates it. She makes the funniest sounds when she is on her tummy.
Soleil giving me the finger
Neve and her favorite toy:
Can you tell that Neve has begun teething?
K J and the kids said
You had better get going on those passports. They can take a REALLY long time.
Cute pics.
Intrepidgirl said
My friend’s husband had to expedite his passport renewal and he got it 10 days (around January). And in February we didn’t expedite my husband’s passport renewal and it took less than 4 weeks. So if you expedite, I think you’ll be ok!
Totally agree with your thoughts on working by the way. My mother’s situation was like your mother’s in that she had no life after we grew up. It’s been challenging for her.
I enjoy reading your blog!
Kirsten said
Good for you to give it right back to her (that’s what I am working toward!)…I’ve had so many people just assume I stay home b/c I had twins and the looks I get when I tell them I work AND the girls are in daycare…HORRORS!!!! About the same reaction I use to get when I told people (who had the nerve to ask) that I didn’t breastfeed. To each their own!
It definitely sucks to have to work but, like you, I just know deep down inside that I have to do something outside the home or I would be in the looney bin, no doubt. I wish I had it in me to be a SAHM but I just don’t. I am considering working part-time but it will be such a hit to us financially and I also contribute to a nice 401K plan at my work so it’s such a tough decision.
Good luck with the passports…we have friends going with us on our trip to Mexico on June 19 and they haven’t gotten theirs yet either and I’m stressing for them. They called a small town office today and they told them they didn’t have any appointments until June 16 so it looks like they will have to go to the city and wait in the 2 hour line. Traveling is fun but such a pain prior to the big day!!The pictures are adorable…they are getting so big
Chas said
The jabbing goes both way. You feel jabbed when people question why you don’t stay home, or when people make comments about how they’d stay home if they had kids. I feel the same way when people ask me how I stand staying at home all day everyday (which I DO NOT do) or if I ever to plan to return to work, as if staying home with my children isn’t a worthy job (and of course I’ll turn to work one day…why even ask?).
I don’t mean to take away from what you said, but being a SAHM doesn’t mean that you can’t have a past time of your own or that you have to feel empty…and it definitely doesn’t mean that your life lacks meaning once your children are older. It is what you make of it. I have a very active life outside my home, and my social life is actually more active now that I’m not working. Working moms tend to think this isn’t possible…and they like to voice it to us SAHMs. I can’t figure out if it makes them feel better about what they’re doing by making us feel bad/worthless….I think it’s the same with how you’re feeling…I think some SAHMs or women that hope to be SAHMs one day sometimes like to almost prove to the working moms that their way is the right way.
Ugg…why can’t we all just do it our own way and get on with it? No one should ever make anyone feel bad about their parenting decisions.
Aunt Becky said
Thank you for your warm comments about my son Ben. They were really, really nice to hear.
And you know what? When it comes to having kids, no matter WHAT you do, someone takes offense. I get all kinds of crap for not going back to work after Alex was born. It’s so stupid how judgmental people are about that sort of thing.
I am totally adding you to my blogroll. I like the way you write.
Ali said
Those little Michelin-man arms are one of the cutest things about babies – love them!
Good luck on the passports, here’s hoping they make it to you on time.
Furrow said
I’ve been lucky so far. No one has criticized me for going back to work. Some people have said things like “it must be hard,” and it is. But like you, my job has benefits, and my husband’s didn’t. I also make more money, so it wasn’t really an option.
I also thought I’d get stir crazy at home, but what I’ve found is that I may actually have less time for myself precisely because I am a WOHM. When I get off work, I feel compelled to rush straight home to spend time with Zo, so there is really no time for any hobbies or outings. It really is hard being a mother, no matter how you do it. Fantastic, but hard.