I was sad this past weekend.
I found out that my grandmother was hospitalized. This is not a good thing. In October we found out that she has Pancreatic Cancer. That is a death decree. 95% of people who are diagnosed die within the first year.
I know that she is a grandmother. That she is older and death is expected. But not her. If you only knew her! She is a special soul, a friend to all.
Her and my grandfather have been married and in Love for 56 years now. My grandfather adores her. Up until she became sick, she would do a seductive dance for him in front of us all, lifting her long skirt up a bit to reveal leg. He would laugh and have a smirk on his face.
She is so funny! All the women in her neighborhood in Israel- young and old would gather every day in her front yard and she would serve to entertain them all. She was a powerhouse.
What’s left is a shell of a woman. So thin and fragile. So heavily medicated to quiet the pain. My mother got on a plane yesterday to be there by her side since the end is near.
My grandmother doesn’t know she has cancer. No one has told her. My grandfather doesn’t know either. He is starting to sense that its coming to an end. The years of love, the life built at the age of 18- raising 7 children, 20 grandchildren. Now these two great grandchildren that are growing in my belly, will not get to know this amazing woman.
My mother arrived this morning by her bedside. She showed my grandmother my 8 week sonogram picture and it made her happy. She looked at the picture and said “Two diamonds”, My grandmother was the one that predicted twins when I told her I was going through IVF. She was right. Now she says boy and a girl. This woman has never been wrong before.
My mother told me an eerie story before her flight yesterday. She said that a few months back when she was in Israel taking care of my grandmother, my aunt and mother were approached by a medium. The medium started telling them how sick my grandmother is and that she was going to depart this world when there will be a pregnancy in the family. She went on to say that there will be a daughter born that will ultimately have my grandmother’s soul. Chills.
Now, believe what you want. I believe in things that cannot be explained. I believe this medium. I grew up with the elders in my life having sixth senses, that in many ways have been passed down to me. I try to downplay my feelings, although they come to the surface at times.
I’m not saying that my daughter will be a reincarnation of my grandmother- because in my opinion only people who have not finished their jobs in life need to come back. She definitely has done it all. But if my daughter will have my grandmother’s will and heart, we will all be lucky.
I said my goodbyes to her this past April while I was in Israel for my cousin’s wedding. I filmed my grandparents and talked with them. She cracked a few jokes to the camera. Before I left I could not stop crying in the bathroom, but I could not show them my tears. So I washed my face and bid them goodbye, knowing this was to be the last time I would see this lovely woman on this earth. And that’s it. That’s how a life ends.
It’s crazy to think that as one life ends another begins. This is bittersweet to me.
