Gemini Girl

So today I got “the look”

You know the one I’m talking about, we’ve been guilty of it many times ourselves. When you run into someone and they look directly at your stomach and ask themselves whether or not they should ask. Now, assuming they were wrong- that would be quite embarrassing for them, let alone the person with the big poochy belly.

I got the look today big time!

And I know it’s only a matter of time before someone asks the question. The problem, I’m not ready to announce, not until my first trimester is over (in about a month from now).

I am already starting to show and I am at 7 weeks!

I attribute this to:

a) The IVF making me bloated

b) My twinsies

So until I am ready, I will wear my tunics proudly, trying to hide the pooch and avert their stares with witty banter.

I am getting rounder by the day.

Yesterday I went to my best friend’s house. She just had a baby 2 weeks ago, and has another that turned 1 last month. Yes two children under 1.

She says she’s tired. Of course she is. And with that I see my future!

I asked her so many questions about everything: strollers, diapers, food.

Turns out a newborn goes through 6-8 diapers a day. Double that and times that by a week I should be changing diapers 112 times a week! Believe me I am not complaining. I wake up every day thankful to G-D. Yes, the thought of twins is very overwhelming. But as my friend

Kj& thekids said that at least I will be able to jump into twins without prior knowledge of how much easier one single child can be.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that when people will ask me whether or not twins run in my family I will say no. I don’t need to give them my life story (even though technically my cousin had twins last year).

I just hope they continue to grow and be healthy. Nothing worries me more than my children- and they aren’t even here yet!

-Tummy very large

-Nauseous in the mornings (but no actual throwing up yet)

-Breasts tender and getting large

- Nails are getting stronger and longer (my nails never grow!)

-Bathroom trips are often and I am NOT constipated.

-Tired all the time

-Hungry all the time

All in all not too bad.

I would love some suggestions for my nauseousness. I take the train to and from work every morning and I almost puked today. I drink a lot of seltzer which seems to be working, but I need a better remedy. On Friday when we went in for the sono I asked my doctor of I should be feeling morning sickness, since I hadn’t yet. He said “wait”. I guess I spoke too soon.

I started my new job today and it’s going well. Its very laid back and relaxed and my boss is cool. I am just dreading the day next month when I sit her down and tell her that I am pregnant- I bet she wont see that one coming so soon! But what can I do- I interviewed for the position long before the IVF. I got the job one day before my positive beta- so truthfully there is nothing that can be done. I will need your advice before I muster up the courage next month to talk to her (when I will be in my 2nd trimester G-D willing)

The good thing is, not too many people know me at my new job so I can blend in for now (without sticking out like a sore thumb- they may just think I’m large in my gut area)

So the past few nights have been very hot here in NYC. On Saturday afternoon I slept with my AC on and awoke with back and shoulder pain. It happened again today. My back is caught and my only option to not have this happen is to sleep sans air conditioning. How can I do that? The heat is horrible. I have no idea what to do!

Other than that Im just plugging along for now!

My stomach is getting larger by the day.

I would definitely be happier about that if I wasn’t trying to hide my pg at work. Now it just looks like I gained a few and need to call 1800-Jenny.

I think once I come out with it (early July when I will be 3 months pg hopefully) then I can embrace the belly and show it off. Until then, I am still trying to squeeze myself into last summer’s clothes- and am failing miserably! I know the reason is not me sitting around and eating Frito’s all day (although I have put on a few pounds since last summer without the whole ivf thing).

On another note, tomorrow is my first sonogram. I am nervous. Very nervous. I just want to know that the pg is in the uterus in its rightful place, and the amount – one or two? They did put in 2 so you never know. I will be happy with whatever G-D gives me.

I will fill you in tomorrow.

OK, I’ve been tagged again by topcat. This is getting too hard for me with my pregnancy brain and all, but I’ll try anyway:

1. I can draw. I have cartoons/ comic books that I have created and have been doing since I was in the 7th grade. One day in school I was talking too much and as a punishment my teacher decided to send me to the 6th grade for one day. I was a renegade. So I took some pen and paper and began to draw. That was the day I created my characters.

2. I like oranges but cant stand anything orange flavored.

3. OK all, this is a doozy. My cousin was my husband’s best friend. They grew up together and were “boys”. For some strange reason, my cousin didn’t like it when me and his best friend got together, and started acting very passive-aggressive towards me. All hell broke loose when I walked into my bridal suite on my wedding day (mid wedding mind you) to change into my second dress of the evening. There he was, my cousin, doing something unholy to his girlfriend on my veil! Yes. On my veil. I asked him to leave my wedding and proceeded to go call my husband and tell him the news. As we approached my drunken cousin, he asked his girlfriend to tell his mom that they were leaving. I looked at his girlfriend and said “Yeah, leave.” (no cursing even though I did have the right to).

Apparently my cousin did not like my tone of voice so he started yelling profanities at me, and came at me swinging. Yes. On my wedding day.

My husband saw this and ran over to his now former best friend and grabbed him. A fight ensued, and my cousin was kicked out. Needless to say, we haven’t heard from him since.

4. No matter how old I get, I still love my first boy band- Take That and go crazy when I see them on TV. They made a big come back last year, and I was rooting for them. I still want to have the lead singer’s baby (gary barlow) although we would need to go through ivf to have that happen.

5. I got a better version of my granny’s hair- and that’s not saying much. She has an Afro. The thing is, she is a small white Jewish woman- so in reality she shouldn’t have one. My mother, father and brother all have straight hair. I DONT. I have very hard to manage curly hair which I have to have professionally blow dried once a week. Unfortunately my husband has similar hair to my grandmother. ALL his siblings have straight hair. HE DOSNT. Which means our children will come out AFRO first.

6. I love blogging, but am afraid that people at work will read it and know it’s me.

7. As a teen I had 3 earring holes on my right ear. One day when I was 16, I was at the mall with said cousin, future husband, and future husband’s girlfriend. I wanted to be cool and get attention so I got a 4th hole on the same ear. No one payed attention.

8. I feel as though my mother-in-law is taking care of us from above. She was one of the good ones that died early (35) and I feel her karma with me many times. Sometimes things work out for me and my husband that just plainly shouldn’t. We know why they do.

After the transfer I layed on my back and after praying to G-D, I spoke to my m-i-l ( in my heart of course) and asked her to help us with the ivf. I feel as though she listened and is taking care of my unborn child as we speak.

So on Saturday night me and the ball and chain went to see Shrek the Third. I was so excited about seeing it, since I am very into animation. The theater was packed. I made sure we got there early so that we could get good seats- we did. As my husband went to get popcorn, I found a seat next to a group of teenage girls. Before the movie trailers began, they had local advertising on the movie screen.

Suddenly, my infertility clinic’s commercial came on. First of all, I didn’t know they had a commercial. Secondly, seeing it up there was quite the surprise but I was so proud of it (seeing as though this was the place that helped me get pregnant).

The teenage girl beside me started laughing at the commercial.

I wanted to bitch slap her.

I did.

It’s funny how people don’t realize how one thing they do can affect another.

I know she was not aware of what her laugh did to me. I too was a horrid teen, like I’ve stated in previous blogs. But that laugh hurt me to the core.

Did this little girl know what the woman sitting besides her had to undergo to get pregnant? Did she know that the same fertility clinic that she was laughing at on the screen was my saving grace?

NO. She knew nothing.

And I know that it should be OK because after all she is a teen and doesn’t know what real problems are.

Urgh.

Clothing

I am angry today.

My old boss (the position I am about to leave) asked me how she should handle the situation (if it were to arise) if my new boss gives her a call and asks her whether or not she was aware that I was pg before I got the new job. How rude! She tried to get the information out of me!

First of all, I have not confirmed my pg to my old boss. She knows that I had to undergo IVF, because of the days that I was missing, and she knew I had problems conceiving. But since the news broke on Friday, I have not told her. I choose not to. I don’t want to go around screaming it on the rooftops yet. This is private for me now.

And secondly, why would it come up? I will not be telling my new boss until I am at least 3 months along. Besides, I interviewed for the new position months before the pg, so just because I chose to do IVF does that make me any different than someone that it accidentally happened to? I also got my BTP the day *after* I got the job.

I told my boss that it shouldn’t come up at all because I will only discuss it in the future with my new boss if the situation arises. I had then went on to say that all the IVF information that I had told her was off the record ( and she knew that from the start!). She said she was just wondering and she didn’t know if I was going to tell my new boss from the start about the pg. I told her to say that she knows nothing (which she doesn’t- nothing was confirmed) and that it should never be mentioned- at all.

I got so mad!

Why is she trying to ruin this for me? I need this job. I need the money.

And truthfully, it is no longer her business.

I seem to be blogging a lot lately. I have a lot of time on my hands at work.

I have realized something interesting. Every time I eat, I start getting cramps and need to use the restroom. It is not fun. It makes me feel like not eating, but I love food too much. At least it will deter me from snacking. But running to the restroom a few times a day and staying in there for 20 minutes is not fun. At all. I hate being in there and others coming in. I wish I had my own private toilet at work. Especially during this pregnancy.

My body is not controlled by me, so it is rather difficult squatting in there and not making a sound. How could I not? My body is out of whack.

I know that this is an yucky subject since some people are squeamish about bodily functions.

My brother is one of those people.

First of all, he has OCD.

When he was a baby, he would hide behind doors if he made in his diapers. When my mother would search for him and not find him around, she knew where to look. When she would ask him why he was hiding he would answer “I made a package”.

He hated himself for that. So, as he got older, he never quite appreciated a good fart joke.

me on the other hand, nothing grosses me out .

How lady-like of me.